It is finished!!

Its been a whole week since I last blogged. I can't believe its been so long! Good grief! I wrote my last two exams this week and not only am I sleep deprived but I have gained all the weight that I had lost in the two months I was working out consistantly. And it has taken me all of 3 weeks to gain it back. You may ask, "Why did you gain all that weight back in such a short space of time, Naledi?", and I will answer "I have been eating so much that you would have sworn that I had only 3 weeks to live because the world was going to end and go KABOOM into a million trillion pieces."

I know I said last week that I would only eat junk food in front of people and I have been faithful to my word, however now I realised that I have barely eaten fruit and veg. I think I have only been surviving on carbohydrates. Carbs are like worms in your tummy. They just make you want to eat more and more and more. As easy and as nice as it would be to just say "that's it, I have decided, I am not going to eat carbs anymore.... forever" its not going to happen. I need carbs to survive and other reasons I stated in previous blogs. I have reason to believe though, that I may have been eating carbs in excess so I will try not to. This is what i curently look like :

and this is how i would like to look:

Yes ladies and gentleman, I have no interest what so ever in looking like Kate Moss on cabbage soup diet (please excuse me while I vomit). I just want to look fit. IS. THAT. TOO. MUCH. TO. ASK. FOR?

Allow me to get deeper here. My problem with food is not surface thing. Food has always been the center of everything in my life especially when growing up. I have heard that values and things must be taught to a child when they are still young, so that way they will grow up with such values. Growing up, when I felt sad I would eat, when something good happened we would celebrate with food, when we would be bored at home we would eat. Even deeper than that, I was watching Oprah the other day and they were talking about a book called "Women, Food and God". Oprah spoke about when she was growing up her grandmother used to tell Oprah to shut up and not cry if she was sad or upset or hurt. I think that's a lot of people's stories. I am not trying to victimise myself but unless you acknowledge something and deal with it you are not going to move past it. It will always be in the back of your mind. I am now an adult and I cannot keep holding on to things that may or many not have happened. At some point in life one needs to move on. So, now this week I decided if I am bored I will look for something else to do accept for eating. If I am sad, I will not look for comfort food I will speak to God. I also tried to initiate a new thing with my friends and it kinda fell flat on its face, I would say to friends instead of going out for 'coffee' perhaps we could meet and walk by the beach or something. That way we save money, we burn calories and enjoy the beautiful city we live in. Clearly I am the only one who feels that way.

So, tomorrow I am definately going to the gym, even though the change rooms are not in use. I bet you thought I was going to say "I am off to the gym right now! and I am going to work out like a beast - RAAAHH I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!" hey? Sorry for you. I have not slept in two weeks. I need some sleep to function. Those who function on 3 hours of sleep are a marvel to me. I want to be them when I grow up.

I have no excuses for the next two months. I have no assignments, tests or exams to do for the next two months. I have no class to rush off to. Its summer and I am on vacation baby! I still have to work but that goes with the territory - bleh. I am making little yet practical changes that will in the long term change my life for the better. The weight is not going to melt off in two weeks but it will go and it will stay off. The power of life and death is in the tongue and I chose to speak only good and positive things.

What small changes are you going to make?