My first entry on this blog I spoke about losing weight physically. Well, I have been attempting this for years and years. No jokes, I think I have been trying to lose weight since I was 11 or 12. There is not a single moment in my life where I have never been overweight. I have heard and seen it all in terms of being marginalised and teased because I am overweight. I remember my childhood friends used to call me Fatzilla (this was just after Godzilla the movie came out) and it used to hurt me quite a lot and I never used to understand why I was being rejected by my so called friends because I was not skinny like them. I would starve myself and try all sorts of things to lose weight and I wanted instant results. If i did not lose 10 kgs within one week then I would be dispondent and give up and binge eat until I felt sick.
I remember my mother would try the cabbage soup diet and make me go on that diet. I'd try it for 2 days and would want to slit my wrists because the soup comprised ingredients that I did not like to eat. I dont know why but I cannot stand to eat soup.When I was younger, we used to get beaten and not spanked. Being spanked was white man's thing. My mother used to beat me into eating soup and I just could not handle eating the darned soup. She eventually gave up one day through divine intervention and decided she will no longer force feed me soup. The other prominent ingredient is cabbage. Cabbage would deserve a whole entry to describe how much I detest that vegetable. Some idiot saw it fit to even have miniture cabbages and call them 'brussel sprouts' like they are exotic or something. Cabbage is a vile vegetable (along with spinach, broccoli and most green veggies) and smells bad, never mind the potency of my farts once I eat that veg. That fart can kill a whole family instantly. An entire generation wiped out completely. But anyways, I digress. So, I gave up the idea of losing weight through the cabbage soup.
About two years after high school, I started varsity and a friend of mine and I started going to gym. We went almost on a daily basis and I was very health conscious. This was the same time where Oprah launched her diet challenge and lost loads and loads of weight. I was motivated from all angles and thus lost more than 10kgs. Needless to say, I have since gained it all back plus interest, VAT, provisional tax, STC, king's tax and every other kind of tax you can think of.
I have been going to gym for the longest time on and off but I fail at losing the weight and keeping it off. I recently joined Virgin Active (the best gym EVER - I think) and I have been having the time of my life there. I did notice some loss and even other people have commented. The problem however is that I cannot go consistantly because I work and study and have an overall hectic existence at the moment.
My biggest issue is food. Yes, I said it. FOOD. I have a love hate relationship with food. When food tastes good, it tastes darned good and I just have no sense of portion control, as a result if I dont go to gym for just one week I will gain back all the weight I lost when I was active. I am tired of being unhealthy. I dont like carrying an extra person around. I have shattered some myths about fat people - that is a blog entry for another day.
Since I have not been to gym in nearly two weeks, I can feel my pants are already getting tight again when they were lose just the other day! I feel I am a compulsive eater. Yesterday I ate so much I wanted to throw up. The whole time I was eating I was telling myself to stop and pace myself but I just would not. Its sickening to think my drug of choice is food. There is so much I want to do before I die but I fear that if I dont lose the weight purely for health reasons I will not live to fulfill my destiny and that would be cheating God and myself.
So, today I made a decision to not eat junk food alone. Rather eat it with people around where I will pace myself. Unfortunately the foods that I binge on do not include spinach, lettuce and cauliflower. I dont sit and think "Yho, I am craving some carrots right now, yuuummmmyyy". This blog will hopefully help me keep myself accountable and also go to the Virgin Active as often as I possibly can - as soon as i get over this sickness of mine.
Those of you who are reading this blog are now obliged to keep me accountable. Portion control is important because unfortunately at this point in my life I am unable to only live of fruit veg and steak. Eating healthy food in South Africa is crazy expensive.
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