More pics

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Skinny bitches.

Larders

So, I have friends (I know - big shock right?!) who are EXCEPTIONALLY thin. Like, seriously thin. 'Skinny bitch' thin. I have been observing for the longest time their eating habits and have been trying to figure out what their secret is to staying thin. Besides starving themselves to death (ha!) they eat at a snails pace. In fact the snail will walk/crawl/hop or do whatever it is that it does from Cape Town to Nigeria and they will still be eating. So, eating exTREMELy slowly is they key Larders.

Update on the holidayness in the Mother City. Yesterday, we went to the V & A Waterfront and ate at Primi Piatti. I think I am over the Primi vibe. Their service is bad (both EL and CT), their food is okay and I can get better cocktails elsewhere.

We then proceeded to go to Camps Bay. I have never seen so many people in my life and all of them were half naked. Suddenly I felt thinner than Zoe Saldana. We ended up at Sea Point and we watched the most beautiful sunset I had ever experienced in my life. People that know me know that I love the beach and love sunsets. And so when these powers combine, I am CAPTAIN PLANET... Sorry, got side tracked. When I saw the sun set over the horizon of the vastness of the sea, I was moved to a new level of corniness.

Then, it was time for Cubar. Very nice vibe. Just a thing of beauty. After that we went to Long Street. Flipping pumping!!! I have never been a big clubber but I enjoy going to a good club to dance once in a while but we didn't find what we were looking for. But we landed up at a pub called Dubliners with live music. I was in my element. Came home and we were in bed by 12.45.

Today, I was up at 5.30(wtf?!!!) to walk with my friend. We apparently walked 12kms!! TWELVE!!! Good grief!!!

I am afraid of what will happen when I go back to the gym. How much I will have gained. Eek!!

Here are some pics over the last 2 days.
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8 kilometers...

Is how long I walked this morning. Shout out to MaryMary. We walked from Muizenberg to St James which is 8 kilometers in total. Apparently day after Christmas will be 10ks. Fuuuuuudgenson!!!! I'm eating like a mofo so I need to exercise like mo-mofo.

Went to Mzoli's yesterday. Mzoli's is a popular braai hangout in Cape Town. Its situated in the heart of the third largest township in South Africa. Having said that, your expectation would be that it would be shoddy place to hang out. On the contrary, dear dorothy, Mzoli's is a popular tourist destination. There were people from Italy, Spain, France, America amongst others. It was such a fun yet humbling experience. I love my country and when I see such, it makes me love it more and in the same breath become more resentful towards the assholes who are in political positions and are abusing the positions.

Today is Christmas eve and I am trying so hard to not burst into tears. I miss my mother even though Christmas would end up with her starting a fight after a few drinks. I still miss having a mother. Everything happens for a reason.

2013 will be a year of hustling and Big blessings. I decree that and receive it.

Happy Christmas all. May you be blessed.

Xoxo
Mother Larder

p.s. I haven't found a way to caption my pics on the blackberry. Please bear with me until I can. Until then, enjoy your latest photo attached.
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Updateration...

Larders

Cape Town is beautiful. The water today was crystal clear. I absolutely love holidaying here. The people though here are full of fecal matter! I love taking landscape pics more than people. Possibly because I suck at taking pictures. Taking ugly pics of beautiful people can make one's life a little acca-awkward.

Here are some pics. I only walked once this week in the morning but I have been travelling the malls like a mofo.

Have an AWESOME summer

I 'heart' the heat!!

Much love
Xoxo
Mother Larder
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Pat on the back and punch in the neck.

Larders

Apparently I need to go on holiday more often for me to blog. Ha!

Hope everyone is good.

Short entry today but I felt the need to check in, to chat about what's been happening in my life food wise.

So, I have eliminated cheese from my diet. I don't even have a craving for it. And I am infamously known for my love of cheese. I have pretty much eliminated bread from my diet. Especially when I'm at home. My sugar intake has decreased dramatically. I have probably 2 teaspoons (one for coffee, the other in my oats) a day. I will soon eliminate sugar from coffee. I don't know if I will eliminate from porridge. I don't like the taste of honey, don't like raisins and I don't like banana so much that I want it in my food everyday. If I have too much banana the consistency makes me want to present all the food I had eaten to the world all mashed up with some bile in the mix (appetizing I know). My water intake is really good. I need to take it up to 3 litres a day though. I drink more green tea more often.

Things that need to be done to ensure rapid weightloss (not too rapid because then I will not be able to maintain it). I need to consume less portions, make better choices when I go out to restaurants, eliminate hot chips, walk a lot more and consume more vegetables. I need to also be selfish with my time and the gym.

Lastly, there aren't many blogs in South Africa related to weightloss. In fact, there isn't a big community at all in SA that supports each other to lose weight. To be part of a community you have to pay (e.g. weighless, weight watchers, etc). The average South African cannot afford the extra expense in their salary of joining a weightloss group, paying personal trainers, buying specific groceries, etc. I am passionate about holistic health i.e. body, mind and spirit.
So, I need to make a move toward getting SA supporters to relate more. This means ..... I may have to either go back to facebook. I deleted my account yonks ago and don't really wanna go back but social media is very influential. Ugh.

Till tomorrow (or later or even sooner or whatever. I'm so unpredictable, I don't even know what I'm going to do in the next hour, oh hell even 15 minutes from now)

Much love
Xoxo

Mother Larder
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Alive...

Larders

I'm alive and in Cape Town!!!!! I need help with not gaining weight over the holiday season.

The only plan I have is to minimise portions, drink A TON of water and walk a lot.

Happy holidays!!

Mother Larder

p.s. Here are some pics from road trip to CT.
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3 WEEKS!!!

Three weeks! THREE WEEKS OF EATING NONSENSE. I always do this. ALWAYS. Once I lose a little weight I start to sabotage myself. Week 1, I had a poor plan so I ate whatever. Week 2, I was moving and therefore no schedule so I ate whatever and didnt go to the gym. Week 3, I started my period and this is apparently an excuse for me to eat anything and everything that is in my way and I have only been to the gym once.

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT TO STAY ALIVE. Why cant I seem to follow through with it. Granted, I dont eat chocolate like I used to or cheese as much as I used to. My portions still suck and my cravings for constantly salty stuff is getting ridiculous.

THIS. IS. BULL.

Is there anyone out there??????

Pictures from JHB

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Apologies, Boobs, etc.

Larders

Firstly, I am so sorry I have not kept in contact for so long. I've been busy with a lot but nothing so big that it warrants talking about.

Two weekends ago I went to Johannesburg and I. Loved. It. I didn't get to experience the night life as much as I would have liked but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I however love the big city lights and highways and big living. One of my dreams has always been to live in New York for a few years. Without fail every friday and saturday night my heart simply aches (not even exaggerating) for New York. My yearning for it is like yearning for a soul mate, a big chunk of me feels like it'll come alive there. Ok, I'm carrying on like a crack head right now. Joburg, in its amazingness, has got a dark side - and its got nothing to do with load shedding - the crime makes living there more expensive because to feel some sort of safety, you need to live in a secured complex or gated community which results in paying rent out of your rectum. I look forward to moving there someday. Fear of the unknown cannot hold me back. I can't call myself a Christian and not believe that God has only the best things in store for me and living life to the absolute fullest is the order of the day. My mother made her circle smaller by not taking chances and living big because of fear or the unknown. That resulted in her being frustrated and picking up bad habits that resulted in her living a very unhealthy lifestyle. She was an incredibly smart and gifted person. I'm not saying that 'to respect the dead' (I don't shell out compliments just 'cos someone is dead, its dumb as hell to do that. The person is dead and can't do much to you) but I have reflected a lot as I grow older on my mother's life and realised she really was clever and gifted but her choices limited her to living a full life. I will learn from her mistakes and keep on, push harder, live harder, be smarter and make a difference for generations to come. In conclusion of that long winded speech, Joburg is definitely on the cards for me. It'll be a step closer to New York :)

Boobs:

I used to find solace in my boobs because they were big. I used to tease friends who have no boobs but swollen nipples. But now those days are gone. Apparently I only have 67kgs to lose only in the breast area as that is the only part that seems to be decreasing with far too much zeal. I happen to like having boobs so this lack of boobs is nonsense. Dear weightloss, try my stomach, bum, thighs and arms - they could use your assistance. Go ahead, knock yourself out. I promise you'll enjoy working with those parts. You can even play ping pong with my thighs, play hide and seek with my butt cheeks and hopscotch with my stomach but leave Mount Everest (my girls -boobs- name) alone.

Gym has been going good. Eating not so great. I have eliminated cheese from my diet. Some weight loss is showing but not enough. Slowly does it I guess. My biggest challenge is to eliminate hot chips(fries, slap chips) from my diet. Getting rid of hot chips needs prayer and fasting for 3 solid years - no jokes.

In five weeks, I am hopefully going to Cape Town for the summer holidays. I would like to lose 6kgs before that. I need a plan. Suggestions will be welcomed.

Time to go to bed now. I was up at 5.15am today. That hour is not just ungodly, its criminal. I'm falling off to sleep as I type. Till tomorrow.

Keep hope alive and remember some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

Xo
Mother Larder
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Murder

Larders

The bible speaks about sinning by thinking. I, thus, wonder what will happen to my soul because I swear I commit murder four times a week between 6 - 7pm.

I mean what the hell!!!

The Trainer is beyond crazy. I swear I've seen the 666 sign on his forehead from time to time. He has horns and that funked up tail. He also walks around with that stupid trident thingy! Today, I was 15 kinds of sore. He pushed us to levels that no human being to get to. I'm sitting on the couch COMPLETELY unable to move. Its even painful to chew!!

This. Is. BS.

I'm sure he enjoys the torture the debil. He doesn't know me like that. I will rebuke his ass all the way to the day after eternity! Stupid crazy somomabeech. Nxa! Dasheet.

And in other news....

I lost a further 0,5kgs. I need to check my centimeters to see how many I lost.

A non scale victory is that my bra fits with so much more ease. The actual cup is steadily coming down in size. I feel so proud of myself.

I want my stomach to shrink too now. I look like I'm pregnant with triplet pandas.

Have a good eve.

Xo
Mother Larder.

Ps. Some of the blogs I been reading are not making entries too often. I need to find new blogs to keep me motivated.
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Planning

Larders

I'm so sorry I went AWOL on you for 2 weeks. I won't say a lot happened because that would a lie, A LIE I TELLS YA!

Two weeks back I started with my period and so my eating habits went to hell.

Last week, I couldn't go shopping because I was so busy. Eventually I decided something has to to give because my body was screaming to me that it needs healthy food.

So, I decided to take a seat and write my grocery list and plan my meals for the next two weeks. I have been going to the gym consistently but not as much as I aimed for which is 5 times a week. Ugh. I know. I. am. an. ass.

This weekend coming, I may be going to joburg and will be seeing some friends that I haven't seen in a while. I would like to lose 2kgs before I go. Which means I have to get my lardy ass in order.

The 12 week challenge also resumes. Two weeks ago I stopped with sugar intake. No sweetners or anything. It has helped significantly. Yesterday when I was with some friends, I couldn't even have a cider because it was too sweet. I just had a glass of fruit juice and I can't handle the sweetness in it.

Which brings me to this week.... I need to decrease my bad carb intake and eliminate margarine. I also need finish reading spud. Doable? Also, I want to go 5 times to the gym.

I think so.

Xo
Mother Larder
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WW67

Larders

Womb War 67 is threatening to start and soon there will be bloodshed everywhere! These past few days have been hell. I been eating everything but toe jam (yum. totally appetising). I am just hungry all the time. Thursday till yesterday was just mayhem in the menu department. But today, I have been fairly good. I had a small packet of chips though. WHY MUST I CRAVE EVERYTHING WHEN I AM PMS-ING????????

Quick review of the last few days:

Thursday, I went back for more punishment and I'm convinced it is easier to give birth naturally to a giraffe than it is to workout with The Trainer.

Friday, I ate and ate. It was so cold, rainy and miserable and I was exhausted so I decided against going to the gym. So.... I ate some more.

Saturday: I was up at SIX AM!!!! "Who the hell does that on a Saturday moring??? WHO THE HELL????" is what I kept asking myself on the way to the gym. Only to find about 100 other crazy people do that! (excluding The Trainer who, by the way, whatsapped me at 8pm to make sure that I am going to the 6:30 class). Needless to say, I was a disaster. Besides the fact that I was still full from the night before and I am not a nice (understatement) person in the morning I could not do most of the exercises he was make us do. Out of 20 push ups they did, I did about 3. It was a sad sad sight. I just sat and laughed after a while. Oh yes, did I mention that none of the group members that The Trainer recruited for the biggestlosereffortthing rocked up, so I was the only fool who couldnt do the exercises. Then I had breakfast and ate crap the rest of the day (may I add, it wasnt volumes it was just crap food)

Sunday: after church I went to the gym. I was so tired, I only walked 2.5kms. I got off the treadmill, went into the sauna and steam room then I showered and went home. Upon getting home, I realised there was no electricity. Since its the week before payday I am broker than all hell. I bought good sould food that I ate until I couldnt breath. (DONT JUDGE ME, I'm being real).

Monday: Today, I have been relatively good with my food and water in take. BUT. I am soooooo lazy to go to the gym. I thought if I blogged and read some other blogs I'll get motivated.

I'll blog a little later about this weeks challenge and a review of the last few weeks challenges.

Xo
Mother Larder

p.s. weight has not moved. I still lost 3kgs. This week I hope to lose 2 kgs, even though the womb war rages on!

The pain...

I cant bend. Where my back muscles used be is only pain. My arms are heavier than lead. why???

Dearly Beloved

We are gathered here to tearfully say goodbye to Mother Larder. She suffered a great deal while taking her first class at biggest loser virgin active edition. She saw the light and this time she walked straight into it.

.....

So, the trainer worked me until I nearly vomitted. I'm not exaggerating. I had a couple of episodes where I had to stand for a while and concentrate very hard on not throwing up. Now when I tell all my friggin so called friends about my pain and expect sympathy, the egg heads tell me 'its good! It means you worked out'. In my head right now I'm projectile puking in their faces. Why do they not feel sorry for me!!!

....

And in other news... I just heard that a friend of mine passed a very difficult accounting test and she is now so close to getting her degree!! Well done your royalthinness!

Time to sleep now. I can't feel my bum.

Xo
Mother Larder

ps. When I looked briefly at my gym card yesterday I could have sworn it says 'vagina active'. It made me laugh so hard it was a good ab work out. Ha!
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OH HELL NO!

Terrible TERRIBLE day today!!! with regards to my diet that is. I just been making some adjustments to my diet and it worked for me. That is until today. UGH.

When I wake I am famished as hell since I started working out properly and so the first thing I do when I get to the office is to make my first cup of coffee then have my oats. Today however, when I got to the office there was a power failure and I had no back up plan. This completely threw me off track. I ended up having a WHOLE tin of pringles, I had 8(!) blocks of chocolate. I eventually had a healthy sandwich and that will probably last me the day I am so full. Weigh-in is in two days time for me and sabotaging like this was not a plan. But you know what I am not freaking out about it. I will just have to make it up by working my ass (literally) off the next two days. One thing I will say though is that I don't have as much energy because I haven't had enough fibre and fruit. I have cut down significantly on my sugar in take and eating all that chocolate today made me crash like a plane.

I have again failed at getting to the gym this morning. WHYYYYY can I not wake up???? I don't mind going in the evenings. I am more of a night owl. By the time I get home it is late and I still have to cook supper. I am trying the whole no eating 3 hrs before bedtime thing. Also, sometimes I have things to do after work and my gym closes at 9pm which means I cannot make it on time after meetings and errands.

So, from today I am on the OH HELL NO diet. This diet means I may plan in my head my meals and stuff but there needs to be some kind of action all up in here!

Second last note - I am starting a program of some sort tonight. It is an initiative that is being started by one of the personal trainers at the gym. He personally invited me (me and a million others got personal invitations - ha!) to start a weight loss group for people who are serious about losing weight. Tonight is my first session and I am keen to have someone who I will be accountable to.

Last note - a friend of mine (who is known as "the beast" because she gyms like a mo-friggin-fo) sent me some texts about her getting back into gyming. You see she has had car troubles for a good few months and has therefore been unable to go the gym. My heart completely goes out to her because the gym forms a major part of who she is. I hope she gets her car soon and we can share gym stories:) I digress. Last night she sent me texts below and I was killing myself from laughter and I thought I have to share...

"Have you ever heard of a wanna be soldier? Well allow me to introduce myself ... and how I received this honorarium title... I, The Beast, in some lapse of judgment took out to walk/jog 4 kms on Sunday on the open road. Mission was easily accomplished. Come Monday - I took on the fete of a 3km open road run and the morning earlier - I did yoga, stretched and some abs. When the evening came around push ups were the order of the day. Now I lay in bed....k*k sore. And that is how I earned my soldier stripes. The end"

She goes on to say that after day 1 she felt like Brain on Pinky & the Brain, she thought she could take over the world. she says "well turns out, I failed miserably. Pain is my middle name now. and my prowess has fleeted from me...... My muscles ache with the intensity of a migraine on a tender scalp"... Friggin funny hey!

Going to get punished at the gym now.

See ya soon!

Xo
Mother Larder

Poetry

I love poetry. I used to write alot of poetry but over the last couple of years I write once every 6 months. Recently my love for it has been rekindled. It moves me in a way that I cannot explain. I used to be part of the dance team at my church and it was always a dream of mine to dance to someone reciting a poem. Wouldn't that be beautiful:)

I am also falling more and more in love with art. I dont know but I could sit and stare at a piece for ages and marvel at the different textures, use of colours, shades and space.

I have had this poem in my heart for the last week now. Its so powerful.

Louis MacNeice - Prayer before Birth

I am not yet born; O hear me.
Let not the bloodsucking bat or the rat or the stoat or the
     club-footed ghoul come near me.

I am not yet born, console me.
I fear that the human race may with tall walls wall me,
     with strong drugs dope me, with wise lies lure me,
        on black racks rack me, in blood-baths roll me.

I am not yet born; provide me
With water to dandle me, grass to grow for me, trees to talk
     to me, sky to sing to me, birds and a white light
        in the back of my mind to guide me.

I am not yet born; forgive me
For the sins that in me the world shall commit, my words
     when they speak me, my thoughts when they think me,
        my treason engendered by traitors beyond me,
           my life when they murder by means of my
              hands, my death when they live me.

I am not yet born; rehearse me
In the parts I must play and the cues I must take when
     old men lecture me, bureaucrats hector me, mountains
        frown at me, lovers laugh at me, the white
            waves call me to folly and the desert calls
              me to doom and the beggar refuses
                 my gift and my children curse me.

I am not yet born; O hear me,
Let not the man who is beast or who thinks he is God
     come near me.

I am not yet born; O fill me
With strength against those who would freeze my
     humanity, would dragoon me into a lethal automaton,
        would make me a cog in a machine, a thing with
           one face, a thing, and against all those
              who would dissipate my entirety, would
                 blow me like thistledown hither and
                    thither or hither and thither
                       like water held in the
                          hands would spill me.

Let them not make me a stone and let them not spill me.
Otherwise kill me.

Perhaps in future I will post my own poems. We'll see. My poems are intensely personal and hardly ever let anyone read it. Its funny how I can bare my soul on this blog when most people in my life know me to be quite closed off. All I know is that I am lovering this space. My space. I feel like the artist in me is being uncovered. Expression of a battered soul through this medium. Perhaps this poem is so poignant at this point in my life because a new part, the true me is about to be birthed.

Going to Zumba tonight. Its not coming fast enough! SOOOOO excited to shake my ass. Much like Eminem said 'the way you shake it makes my tolly go badoinkdoink' - sick.

I feel like KFC...yummmo

Till later!
xo
Mother Larder

Power...

I read this quote today and it just oozed power like Idris Alba oozes pure hotness...

"Weightloss is hard. Being fat is hard. Choose your hard"

My birthday was good but it was very hard. It was my first birthday without my mother. It'll be my first Christmas without her. I never particularly liked Christmas but I always tried to make it good for her. This year, I'll draw the curtains, watch movies about weaves, pigeons, earthworms and short men. Anything to keep my mind off her.

Xo
Mother Larder
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Week 3 : 12 Week Challenge

As mentioned before, I failed miserably with my challenge last week of going to the gym twice in the morning. It's another week and I have an opportunity to make changes that will change my life forever. As mentioned before I have been reading a lot of blogs to keep myself motivated. As I was reading these blogs it suddenly hit me - because my health is at risk I have to make losing weight a major priority in my life. I do not want to be obsessive about it but I need to make it a priority. That is going to be a major challenge in my life because I have a tendency of being obsessive about something and wanting to do it all the time until I get sick of it or lose interest. My obsession mostly has to do with food. I remember a few months ago I went through a stage where I only wanted to eat Milk Tart. My supper would be milk tart and for dessert.... you guessed it! Milk Tart. Needless to say, I am not seriously over milk tarts. I would rather eat my toes than eat milk tart again. I did the same with pies before that.

My relationship with food is not the healthy. I believe that a person consists of body, mind and spirit. In order to have perfect harmony as a person the three elements need to be in sync with each other. If one element is lacking it throws the harmony completely off. It is like a three legged table. If one leg is too short or too long or weak then the table will not fully be able to carry out its purpose. This means that I need to make sure that I tweak every single leg to make sure that there is perfect harmony. Food fills some sort of void and clearly it hasn't worked because if it had the void would be filled and I would magically stop eating and I would carry on with life. Jada Pinkett-Smith was quoted saying that she grew up knowing food was for sustenance  and nothing more. Her grandmother drilled that into her and as a result, she does not go on binging episodes or starve herself for she fears she'll gain weight. She eats to fuel her body so that she could carry on with life. How legend is that??? If I should ever have kids I want to teach them that lesson. It is so valuable. Its really one way of curbing obesity in kids. It is a mentality that I am completely adopting.

I am also amazed at how there are so many people who are dying of hunger in the world yet there is also an epidemic of obesity. South Africa, I read, is the second or third fattest country in the world. How does that work??? The continent is riddled with poverty but we are still fat. The scale is really off. Something needs to be done and it starts with me. I don't know how, what, where, when but I need to do something. A friend of mine and I used to say we will change the world with one life at a time. I can't wait for the future. The future is here and it is now.

The challenge continues:

Week 1 - drink 2 litres of water
Week 2 - go to the gym twice a week before going to work
Week 3 - commit to six visits to the gym

My challenge with regards to the mind is to follow up on my varsity application.

Spirit - meditate more.

We'll chat later!

xo
Mother Larder

A round of applause please

Okay so yesterday I managed to wake up at 5.30 am!!! I feel so proud of myself. Not only did I wake up, I got out of bed and went to the gym. When I got to the gym I worked out. I thought I was being all hardcore until I saw people training for the comrades marathon. I then realised that I had not even touched the tip of an iceburg. In any regard, my bum is very stiff (so many jokes inserted here) so I feel like I worked out.

Epic fail on eating properly since Wednesday on my birthday. Its seems like everyone wants to feed u when its that time of year. Not only did I indulge in all things chocolate, cake and bad, I had enough alcohol to last my system 24 months (at least it feels like it). I don't drink much but when we went out for supper I was forced to drink some beverages that I never knew even existed! Needless to say the following morning I was paying the price.

And in other news... I lost 3 kg's!!! So now I only have to lose 64kgs. Easy enough - ha!!

On Sunday its back to taking care of my body, working with it in order to ensure it works harder, smarter and longer.

Much love to you Larders!!

ps. The theme for my dinner was trailer trash:)
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Call me Fierce. Tara Fierce

I swear I was beckoned into the after life by the proverbial light a few times today at the gym. I went to a class called FIERCE. Its a new class at the local gym. It was such a breath of fresh air! The music was more house than the rave music the instructors usually play. The instructor had rythm and wasn't stiff. Her moves flowed. They weren't structured and rigid and 'learnt'. They came from within her. I had a lovely time!!

That said. I wanted to vomit about 30 minutes into the class. Firstly, my stomach was tender from the lunch I had (normal sandwich). Secondly, I drank 3 litres of water in a space of 5 hours (yes, I'm a moron). So, in as much as the class was fun. I felt like death half the time. The class had a bit of dance, zumba, vbox and good ol fashion lunges, squats and sit ups.

Come to think of it, I think the problem started with what I had yesterday. Because I haven't been eating junk and then yesterday (excuse - birthday mania) I went beserk! I ate a little of everything and I still have a lot of everything left. Now, my stomach is acting up.

Tomorrow evening I am going out with a couple of friends for supper / cocktails and the theme is trailer trash. So keen. I hope everyone comes dressed according to the theme.

Epic fail so far with going to the gym twice in the morning. I'm going to try to go tomorrow morning though, just so I don't feel like a complete ass.

I so need new trainers!

Till tomorrow!

Here is my motivation...

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Weight...

I forgot to weigh myself! I just finished an awesome Zumba class!! I feel like my fitness levels have improved and feel slightly lighter. My knee is not giving me issues so when I weigh myself, I'm hopefully going to see less of me on the scale. I am currently reading various weightloss blogs and there is one in particular that I love to read in the mornings as that gets me going for the day. She is really motivated to lose weight. Her weightloss is not all champagne and strawberries and she is very real about it. I just worry though that she is a little obsessive about the scale. I don't wanna be that obsessed. Yes, I need to lose 67 kgs but I'm not gonna weigh myself everyday. As long as I see a difference in my fitness levels,clothing size and body tone - I'll be very happy. I sure hope this lack of obsessiveness lasts *evillaugh

Tomorrow I am coming to the gym in the morning. I'm dreading waking up already.

As I mentioned earlier tomorrow is my birthday and all I can think of is my mother. I really wish I had a better relationship with her. This will be my first birthday without her. I am hoping the weather will clear up from tomorrow. I want to go to her grave site on Saturday and spend some time there. It sucks like hell that she's not here.

Till tomorrow.

Xo
Mother Larder
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Week 2: 12 Week Challenge

Hello Larders

The first week of the 12 week challenge was a success! I drank more than 2 litres a day - not because I was going out of my way to do so it just happened . I went to the gym last week Tuesday and I weighed myself and HOT DANG IT I got the shock of my life. I dont know why I keep getting shocked because I weighed the same weight I always have. I need to lose 67 kilograms in order for my BMI to not be considered "DANGER! DANGER! You are two days away from kicking the bucket" My funeral insurance will only payout after two years so I need to find a way to keep alive for at least two years and losing the extra 67 kg's would be a good start.

So tonight I am going to the gym (to work out of course) for my weekly weigh-in and I will report later if there is any change. *holding thumbs*

This week's challenge is to commit to going to the gym twice in the morning and three times in the evening. Going to Zumba tonight!! Zumba is one of my highlights of my week.

Tomorrow is my birthday and this weekend I will be celebrating turning 25 (again) so lets hope that I am able to resist all the yummy temptations.

Speak to you soon.

Xo
Mother Larder

Politics: A letter to President Jacob Zuma

When I hear the word 'politics', every fibre of my being wants to explode in anger!

South Africa has a very painful history. Many people have fought and died for independence from a crazy government. For that I am very grateful - the more I grow up, the more I learn about sacrifices made and the more grateful I become. At the age of 26, I am fast becoming disillusioned by the 'new' South Africa.

With this gratefulness comes great sorrow and anger. Shockingly enough, it is not about the "previous regime" but about the current state of affairs. South Africa has over 50% unemployment rate, we are the 4th dumbest country in the world, many people do not have basic health care privileges and we have a ridiculous crime rate. Over the past 19 years of so called free and fair elections, it seems a lot of things are getting worse rather than improving. Each year in February we have one of the most anticipated speeches coming from national government - the budget speech and every year we have the same kind of budget announced: education and health budget will be huge, taking up most of the pie and then all the other departments are allocated. The Auditor General (which is the official government audit company) will announce huge amounts of money that have gone missing, cannot be accounted for, stolen or money that has not been used and taken back to national treasury and yet the AG hardly EVER EVER qualifies financial statements of various government departments!!!! What pisses me off even more is that NO ONE IS EVER FLIPPING HELD ACCOUNTABLE! No one gets fired! They are ALWAYS investigating each other and the findings are rarely made public. Someone will blatantly and I mean BLATANTLY (without any shame) misuse public funds, "they get suspended pending an investigation" with FULL PAY! Sometimes these suspensions last up to two freaking years! So, they are essentially on holiday and the average South African citizen (who works damn hard to pay taxes) foots the bill!?! I don't understand how someone can sleep at night knowing that they have taken literally a starving child's right to be clothed, sheltered and educated (according to our glorious constitution) by stealing public funds.

Then you have our dear darling president (he lost street cred with me a loooong ass time ago - even before the whole "I showered after I had sex with her to prevent AIDS" WTF saga) who gave a speech rebuking those who criticise the ANC government. What a joke! Let me educate you a little Mr Pres: when you make promises and fail to deliver you will get criticised you neanderthal!! Service delivery under your administration - excuse my bluntness - has failed dismally. Your administration has brought so much shame to the many heroes who died fighting against a tyrant government that in itself was riddled with corruption. By the way, I pay taxes which pays for your ass to live in a house that is worth 100 of millions as well as the upkeep of your 6 wives and 3000 kids AND I vote. If I don't like what you are doing then you can bet your bottom dollar I am going to complain and complain and complain until you do something about it! While we are at it, when you get your people to write you immaculate speeches, please make sure they write words you can pronounce. Big words are not going to make you seem more intelligent when you can barely pronounce them!

So, if a large portion of the annual budget goes toward education surely education in South Africa should be improving? Not at all. In fact it is getting worse. Now you need to only know a third of stuff in order for you to pass grade 12. A third. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? If Trevor Manuel or Pravin Gordhan only knew a third of their work in high school and varsity - would they have the jobs that they have now? What kind of intellectuals are you bringing into the job market? Would you trust a doctor that only passed his education with merely a 33.3%?? Come on now. Get real! You say you want kids in underprivileged schools to have a fair chance at passing. Here are some ideas:- a)get rid of corrupt education officials that steal money from the department, b) get educated and competent people into the right positions c) employment in government should not be based on political connections or sexual favours (I have proof of this) d) let the next generation of South African citizens be a priority because in all honesty, a dumb generation is being groomed e) when you get rid of the thieves please ensure that schools are getting enough teachers, textbooks, stationery and sufficient teaching tools f) get some food all up in the schools again. Many kids go to school hungry as there is no money at home to buy food.

Come on Mr Pres. This is not about votes. This is not a popularity contest. It is about doing what is right, just and humane. Take your blinkers off and see that the very people you are leading you are killing. Remember the greatest leaders led by serving.

Sincerely royally pissed off
Mother Larder

p.s. Lets tackle health, security and the economy soon!

Whyyyyyyy?​????

Hello Larders!

I have a secret to share with you that I just recently uncovered! This is the number 455th reason why I want to be thin. Thin people don't get sick! This week a friend of mine caught some viral infection and she became very sick, her whole family got sick. Because I was spending a lot of time at her house I also started to get sick. YET, the thinnest person in the household never got sick. She is Tandi Newton thin but she never got sick. I AM MAD! For various reasons i) because I am sick and thinbit is as strong as a horse ii) I had to delay my 12 week challenge and focus on getting better. I have been sick now for nearly six weeks! But I am starting again. Small steps and changes for a longer and healthier life. Janet Jackson and Angela Bassett are the standard!

Upward and onward! Viva thinness viva!!

Xo
Mother Larder
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Village Bicylce

Hello Larders:)

Sorry been quiet for so long. There have been some personal demons that I was trying to defeat and I realised that I didn't come on this blog to portray me as a perfect person. I'm completely imperfect! I may be very close to being perfect but there are some kinks here and there:)

A year ago my mother started to get sick, very sick. She was admitted to the hospital and the doctors treated her for symptoms but not for the cause. They ran numerous tests and being the public health care system that a) is very much under-resourced and b) some people just don't care she did not get the answers she needed. Granted, there were some more tests she needed to get done and she defaulted on those. Fast forward to four months later, my mother passed away. Now, my and my mother's relationship has been strained (to put it mildly) since I was a child for various reasons which included verbal, emotional and alcohol abuse. For the most part I was looking after my mother alone. I literally saw her deteriorate in front of me. I would physically carry her to the loo. Needless to say this took a toll on me. Bearing in mind our relationship, when my mother passed I didn't expect it to hit me so hard. It literally felt like I was gutted. And so the past few months have been about me trying to figure it all out. I still can't figure it out. I don't really talk about what I'm feeling and prefer to write about it so here I am writing about it. The sadness is constantly there. The pain sometimes is so much it literally feels like my heart will burst into a thousand pieces and sometimes I feel like God is nowhere to be found. So each day I have to get up and forge ahead and put a smile on my face when all I want to do is scream and run down the streets naked uttering profanity no man has ever thought of.

But each day is a new day, a new opportunity to improve on self. So while I try to improve on myself on the inside with God's help I will also try to improve on my outside appearance. I'm an emotional eater and I have gained even more weight since the passing of my mother! Its time I look after myself. Its time I saw that I matter. For so long I put my needs second to everyone. But I need to look after myself. Someone once said that in order for you to know that you have a purpose you just need to realise that you were not born to exist. There's got to be more to life.

And so my 12 week challenge begins on my physical being. Each week I will post a new goal to achieve. It won't be anything humongous but it will definitely add to weightloss and it has to be easy enough that it can be maintained for life. So starting on Monday my goal will be to have 2litres of water everyday.

Drop me a line and let me know what your goal will be.

Thank you for letting me bear my soul larders. It takes a village.

Have a fab weekend! I'm so excited, I'm going to a wedding this evening. I'll take some pics and load them for your personal viewing.lol

Much love
Larder N
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device