Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Apologies, Boobs, etc.
Larders
Firstly, I am so sorry I have not kept in contact for so long. I've been busy with a lot but nothing so big that it warrants talking about.
Two weekends ago I went to Johannesburg and I. Loved. It. I didn't get to experience the night life as much as I would have liked but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I however love the big city lights and highways and big living. One of my dreams has always been to live in New York for a few years. Without fail every friday and saturday night my heart simply aches (not even exaggerating) for New York. My yearning for it is like yearning for a soul mate, a big chunk of me feels like it'll come alive there. Ok, I'm carrying on like a crack head right now. Joburg, in its amazingness, has got a dark side - and its got nothing to do with load shedding - the crime makes living there more expensive because to feel some sort of safety, you need to live in a secured complex or gated community which results in paying rent out of your rectum. I look forward to moving there someday. Fear of the unknown cannot hold me back. I can't call myself a Christian and not believe that God has only the best things in store for me and living life to the absolute fullest is the order of the day. My mother made her circle smaller by not taking chances and living big because of fear or the unknown. That resulted in her being frustrated and picking up bad habits that resulted in her living a very unhealthy lifestyle. She was an incredibly smart and gifted person. I'm not saying that 'to respect the dead' (I don't shell out compliments just 'cos someone is dead, its dumb as hell to do that. The person is dead and can't do much to you) but I have reflected a lot as I grow older on my mother's life and realised she really was clever and gifted but her choices limited her to living a full life. I will learn from her mistakes and keep on, push harder, live harder, be smarter and make a difference for generations to come. In conclusion of that long winded speech, Joburg is definitely on the cards for me. It'll be a step closer to New York :)
Boobs:
I used to find solace in my boobs because they were big. I used to tease friends who have no boobs but swollen nipples. But now those days are gone. Apparently I only have 67kgs to lose only in the breast area as that is the only part that seems to be decreasing with far too much zeal. I happen to like having boobs so this lack of boobs is nonsense. Dear weightloss, try my stomach, bum, thighs and arms - they could use your assistance. Go ahead, knock yourself out. I promise you'll enjoy working with those parts. You can even play ping pong with my thighs, play hide and seek with my butt cheeks and hopscotch with my stomach but leave Mount Everest (my girls -boobs- name) alone.
Gym has been going good. Eating not so great. I have eliminated cheese from my diet. Some weight loss is showing but not enough. Slowly does it I guess. My biggest challenge is to eliminate hot chips(fries, slap chips) from my diet. Getting rid of hot chips needs prayer and fasting for 3 solid years - no jokes.
In five weeks, I am hopefully going to Cape Town for the summer holidays. I would like to lose 6kgs before that. I need a plan. Suggestions will be welcomed.
Time to go to bed now. I was up at 5.15am today. That hour is not just ungodly, its criminal. I'm falling off to sleep as I type. Till tomorrow.
Keep hope alive and remember some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
Xo
Mother Larder
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Murder
Larders
The bible speaks about sinning by thinking. I, thus, wonder what will happen to my soul because I swear I commit murder four times a week between 6 - 7pm.
I mean what the hell!!!
The Trainer is beyond crazy. I swear I've seen the 666 sign on his forehead from time to time. He has horns and that funked up tail. He also walks around with that stupid trident thingy! Today, I was 15 kinds of sore. He pushed us to levels that no human being to get to. I'm sitting on the couch COMPLETELY unable to move. Its even painful to chew!!
This. Is. BS.
I'm sure he enjoys the torture the debil. He doesn't know me like that. I will rebuke his ass all the way to the day after eternity! Stupid crazy somomabeech. Nxa! Dasheet.
And in other news....
I lost a further 0,5kgs. I need to check my centimeters to see how many I lost.
A non scale victory is that my bra fits with so much more ease. The actual cup is steadily coming down in size. I feel so proud of myself.
I want my stomach to shrink too now. I look like I'm pregnant with triplet pandas.
Have a good eve.
Xo
Mother Larder.
Ps. Some of the blogs I been reading are not making entries too often. I need to find new blogs to keep me motivated.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
The bible speaks about sinning by thinking. I, thus, wonder what will happen to my soul because I swear I commit murder four times a week between 6 - 7pm.
I mean what the hell!!!
The Trainer is beyond crazy. I swear I've seen the 666 sign on his forehead from time to time. He has horns and that funked up tail. He also walks around with that stupid trident thingy! Today, I was 15 kinds of sore. He pushed us to levels that no human being to get to. I'm sitting on the couch COMPLETELY unable to move. Its even painful to chew!!
This. Is. BS.
I'm sure he enjoys the torture the debil. He doesn't know me like that. I will rebuke his ass all the way to the day after eternity! Stupid crazy somomabeech. Nxa! Dasheet.
And in other news....
I lost a further 0,5kgs. I need to check my centimeters to see how many I lost.
A non scale victory is that my bra fits with so much more ease. The actual cup is steadily coming down in size. I feel so proud of myself.
I want my stomach to shrink too now. I look like I'm pregnant with triplet pandas.
Have a good eve.
Xo
Mother Larder.
Ps. Some of the blogs I been reading are not making entries too often. I need to find new blogs to keep me motivated.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Planning
Larders
I'm so sorry I went AWOL on you for 2 weeks. I won't say a lot happened because that would a lie, A LIE I TELLS YA!
Two weeks back I started with my period and so my eating habits went to hell.
Last week, I couldn't go shopping because I was so busy. Eventually I decided something has to to give because my body was screaming to me that it needs healthy food.
So, I decided to take a seat and write my grocery list and plan my meals for the next two weeks. I have been going to the gym consistently but not as much as I aimed for which is 5 times a week. Ugh. I know. I. am. an. ass.
This weekend coming, I may be going to joburg and will be seeing some friends that I haven't seen in a while. I would like to lose 2kgs before I go. Which means I have to get my lardy ass in order.
The 12 week challenge also resumes. Two weeks ago I stopped with sugar intake. No sweetners or anything. It has helped significantly. Yesterday when I was with some friends, I couldn't even have a cider because it was too sweet. I just had a glass of fruit juice and I can't handle the sweetness in it.
Which brings me to this week.... I need to decrease my bad carb intake and eliminate margarine. I also need finish reading spud. Doable? Also, I want to go 5 times to the gym.
I think so.
Xo
Mother Larder
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
I'm so sorry I went AWOL on you for 2 weeks. I won't say a lot happened because that would a lie, A LIE I TELLS YA!
Two weeks back I started with my period and so my eating habits went to hell.
Last week, I couldn't go shopping because I was so busy. Eventually I decided something has to to give because my body was screaming to me that it needs healthy food.
So, I decided to take a seat and write my grocery list and plan my meals for the next two weeks. I have been going to the gym consistently but not as much as I aimed for which is 5 times a week. Ugh. I know. I. am. an. ass.
This weekend coming, I may be going to joburg and will be seeing some friends that I haven't seen in a while. I would like to lose 2kgs before I go. Which means I have to get my lardy ass in order.
The 12 week challenge also resumes. Two weeks ago I stopped with sugar intake. No sweetners or anything. It has helped significantly. Yesterday when I was with some friends, I couldn't even have a cider because it was too sweet. I just had a glass of fruit juice and I can't handle the sweetness in it.
Which brings me to this week.... I need to decrease my bad carb intake and eliminate margarine. I also need finish reading spud. Doable? Also, I want to go 5 times to the gym.
I think so.
Xo
Mother Larder
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Monday, October 22, 2012
WW67
Larders
Womb War 67 is threatening to start and soon there will be bloodshed everywhere! These past few days have been hell. I been eating everything but toe jam (yum. totally appetising). I am just hungry all the time. Thursday till yesterday was just mayhem in the menu department. But today, I have been fairly good. I had a small packet of chips though. WHY MUST I CRAVE EVERYTHING WHEN I AM PMS-ING????????
Quick review of the last few days:
Thursday, I went back for more punishment and I'm convinced it is easier to give birth naturally to a giraffe than it is to workout with The Trainer.
Friday, I ate and ate. It was so cold, rainy and miserable and I was exhausted so I decided against going to the gym. So.... I ate some more.
Saturday: I was up at SIX AM!!!! "Who the hell does that on a Saturday moring??? WHO THE HELL????" is what I kept asking myself on the way to the gym. Only to find about 100 other crazy people do that! (excluding The Trainer who, by the way, whatsapped me at 8pm to make sure that I am going to the 6:30 class). Needless to say, I was a disaster. Besides the fact that I was still full from the night before and I am not a nice (understatement) person in the morning I could not do most of the exercises he was make us do. Out of 20 push ups they did, I did about 3. It was a sad sad sight. I just sat and laughed after a while. Oh yes, did I mention that none of the group members that The Trainer recruited for the biggestlosereffortthing rocked up, so I was the only fool who couldnt do the exercises. Then I had breakfast and ate crap the rest of the day (may I add, it wasnt volumes it was just crap food)
Sunday: after church I went to the gym. I was so tired, I only walked 2.5kms. I got off the treadmill, went into the sauna and steam room then I showered and went home. Upon getting home, I realised there was no electricity. Since its the week before payday I am broker than all hell. I bought good sould food that I ate until I couldnt breath. (DONT JUDGE ME, I'm being real).
Monday: Today, I have been relatively good with my food and water in take. BUT. I am soooooo lazy to go to the gym. I thought if I blogged and read some other blogs I'll get motivated.
I'll blog a little later about this weeks challenge and a review of the last few weeks challenges.
Xo
Mother Larder
p.s. weight has not moved. I still lost 3kgs. This week I hope to lose 2 kgs, even though the womb war rages on!
Womb War 67 is threatening to start and soon there will be bloodshed everywhere! These past few days have been hell. I been eating everything but toe jam (yum. totally appetising). I am just hungry all the time. Thursday till yesterday was just mayhem in the menu department. But today, I have been fairly good. I had a small packet of chips though. WHY MUST I CRAVE EVERYTHING WHEN I AM PMS-ING????????
Quick review of the last few days:
Thursday, I went back for more punishment and I'm convinced it is easier to give birth naturally to a giraffe than it is to workout with The Trainer.
Friday, I ate and ate. It was so cold, rainy and miserable and I was exhausted so I decided against going to the gym. So.... I ate some more.
Saturday: I was up at SIX AM!!!! "Who the hell does that on a Saturday moring??? WHO THE HELL????" is what I kept asking myself on the way to the gym. Only to find about 100 other crazy people do that! (excluding The Trainer who, by the way, whatsapped me at 8pm to make sure that I am going to the 6:30 class). Needless to say, I was a disaster. Besides the fact that I was still full from the night before and I am not a nice (understatement) person in the morning I could not do most of the exercises he was make us do. Out of 20 push ups they did, I did about 3. It was a sad sad sight. I just sat and laughed after a while. Oh yes, did I mention that none of the group members that The Trainer recruited for the biggestlosereffortthing rocked up, so I was the only fool who couldnt do the exercises. Then I had breakfast and ate crap the rest of the day (may I add, it wasnt volumes it was just crap food)
Sunday: after church I went to the gym. I was so tired, I only walked 2.5kms. I got off the treadmill, went into the sauna and steam room then I showered and went home. Upon getting home, I realised there was no electricity. Since its the week before payday I am broker than all hell. I bought good sould food that I ate until I couldnt breath. (DONT JUDGE ME, I'm being real).
Monday: Today, I have been relatively good with my food and water in take. BUT. I am soooooo lazy to go to the gym. I thought if I blogged and read some other blogs I'll get motivated.
I'll blog a little later about this weeks challenge and a review of the last few weeks challenges.
Xo
Mother Larder
p.s. weight has not moved. I still lost 3kgs. This week I hope to lose 2 kgs, even though the womb war rages on!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
The pain...
I cant bend. Where my back muscles used be is only pain. My arms are heavier than lead. why???
Dearly Beloved
We are gathered here to tearfully say goodbye to Mother Larder. She suffered a great deal while taking her first class at biggest loser virgin active edition. She saw the light and this time she walked straight into it.
.....
So, the trainer worked me until I nearly vomitted. I'm not exaggerating. I had a couple of episodes where I had to stand for a while and concentrate very hard on not throwing up. Now when I tell all my friggin so called friends about my pain and expect sympathy, the egg heads tell me 'its good! It means you worked out'. In my head right now I'm projectile puking in their faces. Why do they not feel sorry for me!!!
....
And in other news... I just heard that a friend of mine passed a very difficult accounting test and she is now so close to getting her degree!! Well done your royalthinness!
Time to sleep now. I can't feel my bum.
Xo
Mother Larder
ps. When I looked briefly at my gym card yesterday I could have sworn it says 'vagina active'. It made me laugh so hard it was a good ab work out. Ha!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
.....
So, the trainer worked me until I nearly vomitted. I'm not exaggerating. I had a couple of episodes where I had to stand for a while and concentrate very hard on not throwing up. Now when I tell all my friggin so called friends about my pain and expect sympathy, the egg heads tell me 'its good! It means you worked out'. In my head right now I'm projectile puking in their faces. Why do they not feel sorry for me!!!
....
And in other news... I just heard that a friend of mine passed a very difficult accounting test and she is now so close to getting her degree!! Well done your royalthinness!
Time to sleep now. I can't feel my bum.
Xo
Mother Larder
ps. When I looked briefly at my gym card yesterday I could have sworn it says 'vagina active'. It made me laugh so hard it was a good ab work out. Ha!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
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