Lets hear it for Jozi!!

Beautiful Larders

Been a while. Believe me I have missed you more than the dessert misses the rain! (ok, flow of the day done).

Nothing much to report on except I MOVED TO THE ECONOMIC HUB OF SOUTH AFRICA!!! I am now a joburger!  i made the move a little over three weeks ago. I was unsure of my move until i got here. I still pinch myself from time to time because I never in a million years thought I would reside here. I have a gracious friend who encouraged me to quit my job in East London and come live with her until I am on my feet. I tell you the truth if you ever have a friend like that... keep them, they are the real deal. Living with each other has not been smooth sailing as we are soooo different in many respects but its been more than a blessing to me.

I have been trying get used to the completely different lifestyle. First of all - the crime! Two weeks after I moved here I witnessed someone being hijacked. Now, I had a healthy degree of paranoia living in East London but now I am constantly on edge and I hate it. sometimes I manage to convince myself that a pice of paper floating in the air is secretly a tissue with chlorofoam to  make me unconscious so 'they' can hijack me (whoever 'they' are). Secondly - the traffic! MY GOSH! I am very blessed to not have to be in traffic alot but I have to leave the house at 7am! this is so I can avoid traffic. My work is about 7 kilometers from home but it can take up to 45 mins to get to work if I do not time myself. Thirdly - the driving! In East London if u said a place was around the corner, it literally meant that. Here, people say something is around the corner and 20 mins later u r still on the road! On the upside though I can play more than one song while on the road.

I did not expect to be so homesick. A few times I wondered if Imade the right decision and every time I'd get to the same conclusion.....HELL YES. I have no idea what will transpire in the next few months and I love that! The opportunities here are limitless. The only thing that needs to change about me is that I need to embrace more of a hustling attitude. This is it. This is life. People are looking after their own and I need to do me. The one thing that JHB needs though is the beach. I miss my impromptu walks at the beach.

I have not been to the gym for at least two months and I can feel it. I have a ton of admin to get through and first on my list was to let you know that I'm alive but busy.

I have a great deal of supporters cheering me on and I thank you all so much. Without your encouraging words I would have sold myself to the Marsians. I need a back massage from stress...any takers?

Lets chat soon.

Much love.
xo
Mother Larder

This S. is real!

Larders

Been a while. Been a roller coaster! The last month and a half has been just sweat, blood, tears and changes. So far I have lost a total of 4 kgs. Feels AH MAZING to finally report that. I think I have lost about 1% of body fat - which is most important to me.

I have 5 weeks before I go to a wedding to Johannesburg and I would like to lose 5kgs! This sh1t gets real from today. The last three days have been an eating fest (I feel horrible for even saying that) and haven't been able to exercise because of my knee and pulled muscle. Its been a challenge to walk!

So, things to achieve this year:

-Lose 44kg's
-Move to JHB
-Sort my education out at UNISA
-Start paying for my holiday end of 2014

But for this week, my only goal is to work wake up 4 times at 4.45am and lose 1,5kgs.

On the emotional side. Its been really rough. I cannot shake the deep sadness of missing my mother. My first instinct is to push my feelings aside but I'm facing the pain head on. So much about me is changing and I love it. 2013 is proving to be an awesome year. Praise the Lord for all of this.

Till tomorrow

Xo
Mother Larder
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Untitled

Sometimes the reality of death hits me so hard that its like I've been winded. Last week I thought I should call my mother as I hadn't spoken to her in a long while then I realised the awkwardness of that situation. Today at the shop I saw a woman who had the same hairstyle, my heart quickened...then reality punched me in the gut.

Today I read that pain doesn't go away but you learn to live with it.

Xo
ML
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Rainbow Nation

White Folk....

My boss is going on a 3 month sabbatical in June. He will be travelling the whole of Southern Africa. This sounds nice enough EXCEPT most of the trip will entail having to use pitsystem toilets, "rustic showers" (what that means is beyond me), no electricity AND there is wildlife. Wildlife means snakes AND LIONS just roaming around especially at night. Seriously?! There is even a blog about these camp sites. One guy says he was sleeping in a one man pitch tent and a lion was busy roaring outside his tent tempted to charge at him! He proceeds to say "it was fun"!!! May I add that these camping sites are booked months and months in advance?! I'm telling you, I loves me some white folk but they need Jesus...

Morons!

ML

Reality Check

Larders

I'm having such deep revelations lately about weight. This morning as I was washing dishes I realised that I have been fighting the "battle of the bulge" for about 15 years. There was a moment where I won for a little while and lost about 10 kgs but then I gained it back plus an added 17 kgs.

 

A frined of mine(one of my most dearest and oldest - as in we've been friends for about 15 years) once said that I should write about what would change about my life if I lost weight. I wrote down all the stuff that I thought would really change. Today, almost two years later the question still begs. Back then I thought that being able to walk into a clothing shop and buy any item of clothing because I want it not because I am limited to a certain range of clothing. I know the kind of style that I like but when heavy/fat/padded (ha!) that style comes with a heavy price. In any regard today I think I'm finally getting to the root answer of the question. If I lost weight I would not have any excuses for failure. Right now I can say that I was rejected for a presenting gig on Top Billing because I looked like a purple beached whale but when I lose (I never get it right is it loose or lose??? wtf!! *sidethought) the weight what will my reason for not going for it be? I will solely have to be accountable for my failures not my mother, not my weight but me. The buck would stop with me.

 

And in other news, I'm really enjoying getting to re-know (there I go again! coining words) me. I said to a friend that I have been living off the residue of an 18 year old and now I need to find my twenty-something year old lady. I love my twenties. I believe this is the time to take radical leaps of faith.

 

So, here is a challenge for you. Firstly, if you have been fighting the battle of the bulge find out why its been a battle for so long. There may be emotions that are hidden so deep that you don't even realise. Secondly, meditation (not in the freaky way of going "uhm" a million times) is so important. A person is made up of body, soul/spirit and mind. All these need to be aligned and in unison. If one is off beat then there is no balance.

 

You can have thousands of supporters supporting you with you weightloss but if you are not all in it. Its going to be a battle and not an awesome journey.

xo
Mother Larder

Weigh in

Larders

What the heck?! The scale says I've gone up 500grams. Its supposed to say I've gone down 500grams at least!!! I've been good with exercising, been good with food, my clothes are not super super tight they are just super tight. Yet the DAMN scale says I gained. I. AM. NOT. IMPRESSED.

I can't wallow in this forever though, I've got to keep my mind focused on improving my fitness for the Surfers. I have just under a month left to prepare and so far its been dismal. I'm nervous. This is half a marathon. I would like to drop some weight before the surfers so there is less pressure on my joints.

I have 4 days to walk 14kms. This means I need to walk 4kms everyday till saturday. FUN.

I'm chatting with a friend currently and she is moving and shaking this year. It's really motivating me to not just lie there and do nothing. Its time to do something.

Which leads me to my next point. Today I had such a 'light bulb' moment. I been wondering why I always go 2 steps forward and 3 steps back with my weightloss. I realised that even though I said and have practised it (seldom times), I always have this mental block telling me something is bound to go wrong and thus I mustn't give my all. From a very young age I became best friends with Mr Letdown. As a result, I conditioned myself to not expect much as life and people and (dare I say it) myself have let me down so many times. I'm an optimistic-pessimist (oxymoron I know) I'm optomistic about other people and things that are within my control. If something is out of my control then I lose optimism. Now, I have no excuses to say that this person is hindering me or this circumstance is hindering me. To whoever will read this, I'll sound selfish but I don't care. I like myself. I want the best for me. I don't want me to have a half hearted life. I want to live in abundance. I have put myself in the back burner for so long that I don't even realise that I have become co-dependent. That has to be broken. No one else will live my life for me. People will walk in and out of my life but I will be with myself forever. I choose me, I choose life. There's no room for negative energy. Its all about life. I will have ups and downs but its most important to keep living, taking risks and having faith that God is betting on me. Words have bound me but words are and will set me free.

What a beautiful realisation. Be careful what you say to someone. You'll never know if your words tighten their chains or if they set free. Choose to be a vessel that helps to set free.

Xo
Mother Larder
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Week 4 of 2013

Larders

I hope you had a fabulous weekend because I most certainly did! "why? Mother Larder, what did you do that you had such an awesome weekend? Tell us, tell us please!!" you ask? I'll tell you.... Yesterday, I spent 2 hours frolicking in the sea water. The water was sooo lovely - that is after the first few minutes where I thought I would lose some limbs because of the coldness of the water. The sun has been beating down like Satan's evil brother but the water made it all better. Twice in one week I frolicked in the water. I LOVE LIVING BY THE BEACH.

Back to business....

So, I did not finish the book Heroine of the Desert. I will finish it either tonight or tomorrow night at the latest. (disclaimer: I did not proof read the last entry as I was in a rush when I wrote it. There are a few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes and I apologise for my tardiness).

Remember the 5k I was doing on Friday? I went, I saw and didn't conquer. After about 2,5k's it started raining and I was not prepared to have my phone and headphones soaking wet. So, I took a short cut, got into my car and went home. I must have walked about 3 kilometers. Saturday, a friend of mine and I attempted another 5k. This 5k is called the Nahoon Park Run (NPR). It happens every Saturday morning at 8am. It takes place by the beach. This means that you walk /  run on sand and hike up some dunes. This was fun for the first 30 seconds, then my knee started to pain and sand got into my takkies (I hate that!), it started to rain and because I am so incredibly unfit I was left behind. There was not a soul in sight! I mean, the only way I knew which direction to go was checking for foot prints. I felt like McGyver finding his way out of the Amazon. I ended up not finishing (again!!!) the race. I noticed this when I got to the parking lot and realised that I was suddenly ahead of everyone. I missed a turn that I was meant to take me onto another trail and ended up walking another 3 kilometers! I was sooo mad at myself. I have now made it a point to walk this freaking trail twice this week so I can improve on my time and hopefully not completely lose sight of people when I walk again on Saturday.

A random thought: Why is it that when I go on these walks there aren't any black folk?! When I mean black I mean Black as in Black, Coloured Folk, Indians and African Foreign Nationals. WHAT THE HELL?!

So last week I clocked about 6 kilometers and went to the gym 3 times. This is not enough for the Surfer's Marathon.

Its been established that I DO NOT like to wake up in the morning. AT ALL. I have been training my body to wake up earlier. Last night I went to sleep early, having packed out my workout clothes, pumped to wake up early and go for a walk. I set my alarm clock for 5:30am and even watched Biggest Loser to inspire me to wake up and go for a walk since I need to clock 20kms of walking each week until the Surfer's. Today I woke up about 5 minutes before the alarm clock and was so excited! I went to the loo and decided to lay down for 5 minutes. 5 minutes turned into 2 hours! There goes any chance of me going for a morning walk. ugh! As a reward to myself for not following through this morning, after gym I will have to go for a brisk walk for an 45 - 1 hr. On top of that, I have to clean the flat when I get home. Its disgusting.

I'm gonna wake up tomorrow morning and do this. I can do this. Sleep is necessary but it wont help when I attempt the Surfer's. One of the trainers on Biggest Loser (BL) said "don't try just do it.". Three words that need to leave my vocab: try, cant and hate.

With regards to the title of the entry: There are 52 weeks in a year. 3 weeks have already gone by and I haven't made enough impact. Each week I would like to do something good for someone else and for myself. And each week should find me a better person.

Food : I shall only allow 1 cheat day a week. I don't know if I should go with Sundays or Saturdays. Sundays are my rest day but Saturdays are more awesome days to cheat. I think I'll go for Sundays as cheat days.

Chat later!

xo
Mother Larder