Weight...

I forgot to weigh myself! I just finished an awesome Zumba class!! I feel like my fitness levels have improved and feel slightly lighter. My knee is not giving me issues so when I weigh myself, I'm hopefully going to see less of me on the scale. I am currently reading various weightloss blogs and there is one in particular that I love to read in the mornings as that gets me going for the day. She is really motivated to lose weight. Her weightloss is not all champagne and strawberries and she is very real about it. I just worry though that she is a little obsessive about the scale. I don't wanna be that obsessed. Yes, I need to lose 67 kgs but I'm not gonna weigh myself everyday. As long as I see a difference in my fitness levels,clothing size and body tone - I'll be very happy. I sure hope this lack of obsessiveness lasts *evillaugh

Tomorrow I am coming to the gym in the morning. I'm dreading waking up already.

As I mentioned earlier tomorrow is my birthday and all I can think of is my mother. I really wish I had a better relationship with her. This will be my first birthday without her. I am hoping the weather will clear up from tomorrow. I want to go to her grave site on Saturday and spend some time there. It sucks like hell that she's not here.

Till tomorrow.

Xo
Mother Larder
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Week 2: 12 Week Challenge

Hello Larders

The first week of the 12 week challenge was a success! I drank more than 2 litres a day - not because I was going out of my way to do so it just happened . I went to the gym last week Tuesday and I weighed myself and HOT DANG IT I got the shock of my life. I dont know why I keep getting shocked because I weighed the same weight I always have. I need to lose 67 kilograms in order for my BMI to not be considered "DANGER! DANGER! You are two days away from kicking the bucket" My funeral insurance will only payout after two years so I need to find a way to keep alive for at least two years and losing the extra 67 kg's would be a good start.

So tonight I am going to the gym (to work out of course) for my weekly weigh-in and I will report later if there is any change. *holding thumbs*

This week's challenge is to commit to going to the gym twice in the morning and three times in the evening. Going to Zumba tonight!! Zumba is one of my highlights of my week.

Tomorrow is my birthday and this weekend I will be celebrating turning 25 (again) so lets hope that I am able to resist all the yummy temptations.

Speak to you soon.

Xo
Mother Larder

Politics: A letter to President Jacob Zuma

When I hear the word 'politics', every fibre of my being wants to explode in anger!

South Africa has a very painful history. Many people have fought and died for independence from a crazy government. For that I am very grateful - the more I grow up, the more I learn about sacrifices made and the more grateful I become. At the age of 26, I am fast becoming disillusioned by the 'new' South Africa.

With this gratefulness comes great sorrow and anger. Shockingly enough, it is not about the "previous regime" but about the current state of affairs. South Africa has over 50% unemployment rate, we are the 4th dumbest country in the world, many people do not have basic health care privileges and we have a ridiculous crime rate. Over the past 19 years of so called free and fair elections, it seems a lot of things are getting worse rather than improving. Each year in February we have one of the most anticipated speeches coming from national government - the budget speech and every year we have the same kind of budget announced: education and health budget will be huge, taking up most of the pie and then all the other departments are allocated. The Auditor General (which is the official government audit company) will announce huge amounts of money that have gone missing, cannot be accounted for, stolen or money that has not been used and taken back to national treasury and yet the AG hardly EVER EVER qualifies financial statements of various government departments!!!! What pisses me off even more is that NO ONE IS EVER FLIPPING HELD ACCOUNTABLE! No one gets fired! They are ALWAYS investigating each other and the findings are rarely made public. Someone will blatantly and I mean BLATANTLY (without any shame) misuse public funds, "they get suspended pending an investigation" with FULL PAY! Sometimes these suspensions last up to two freaking years! So, they are essentially on holiday and the average South African citizen (who works damn hard to pay taxes) foots the bill!?! I don't understand how someone can sleep at night knowing that they have taken literally a starving child's right to be clothed, sheltered and educated (according to our glorious constitution) by stealing public funds.

Then you have our dear darling president (he lost street cred with me a loooong ass time ago - even before the whole "I showered after I had sex with her to prevent AIDS" WTF saga) who gave a speech rebuking those who criticise the ANC government. What a joke! Let me educate you a little Mr Pres: when you make promises and fail to deliver you will get criticised you neanderthal!! Service delivery under your administration - excuse my bluntness - has failed dismally. Your administration has brought so much shame to the many heroes who died fighting against a tyrant government that in itself was riddled with corruption. By the way, I pay taxes which pays for your ass to live in a house that is worth 100 of millions as well as the upkeep of your 6 wives and 3000 kids AND I vote. If I don't like what you are doing then you can bet your bottom dollar I am going to complain and complain and complain until you do something about it! While we are at it, when you get your people to write you immaculate speeches, please make sure they write words you can pronounce. Big words are not going to make you seem more intelligent when you can barely pronounce them!

So, if a large portion of the annual budget goes toward education surely education in South Africa should be improving? Not at all. In fact it is getting worse. Now you need to only know a third of stuff in order for you to pass grade 12. A third. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? If Trevor Manuel or Pravin Gordhan only knew a third of their work in high school and varsity - would they have the jobs that they have now? What kind of intellectuals are you bringing into the job market? Would you trust a doctor that only passed his education with merely a 33.3%?? Come on now. Get real! You say you want kids in underprivileged schools to have a fair chance at passing. Here are some ideas:- a)get rid of corrupt education officials that steal money from the department, b) get educated and competent people into the right positions c) employment in government should not be based on political connections or sexual favours (I have proof of this) d) let the next generation of South African citizens be a priority because in all honesty, a dumb generation is being groomed e) when you get rid of the thieves please ensure that schools are getting enough teachers, textbooks, stationery and sufficient teaching tools f) get some food all up in the schools again. Many kids go to school hungry as there is no money at home to buy food.

Come on Mr Pres. This is not about votes. This is not a popularity contest. It is about doing what is right, just and humane. Take your blinkers off and see that the very people you are leading you are killing. Remember the greatest leaders led by serving.

Sincerely royally pissed off
Mother Larder

p.s. Lets tackle health, security and the economy soon!

Whyyyyyyy?​????

Hello Larders!

I have a secret to share with you that I just recently uncovered! This is the number 455th reason why I want to be thin. Thin people don't get sick! This week a friend of mine caught some viral infection and she became very sick, her whole family got sick. Because I was spending a lot of time at her house I also started to get sick. YET, the thinnest person in the household never got sick. She is Tandi Newton thin but she never got sick. I AM MAD! For various reasons i) because I am sick and thinbit is as strong as a horse ii) I had to delay my 12 week challenge and focus on getting better. I have been sick now for nearly six weeks! But I am starting again. Small steps and changes for a longer and healthier life. Janet Jackson and Angela Bassett are the standard!

Upward and onward! Viva thinness viva!!

Xo
Mother Larder
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Village Bicylce

Hello Larders:)

Sorry been quiet for so long. There have been some personal demons that I was trying to defeat and I realised that I didn't come on this blog to portray me as a perfect person. I'm completely imperfect! I may be very close to being perfect but there are some kinks here and there:)

A year ago my mother started to get sick, very sick. She was admitted to the hospital and the doctors treated her for symptoms but not for the cause. They ran numerous tests and being the public health care system that a) is very much under-resourced and b) some people just don't care she did not get the answers she needed. Granted, there were some more tests she needed to get done and she defaulted on those. Fast forward to four months later, my mother passed away. Now, my and my mother's relationship has been strained (to put it mildly) since I was a child for various reasons which included verbal, emotional and alcohol abuse. For the most part I was looking after my mother alone. I literally saw her deteriorate in front of me. I would physically carry her to the loo. Needless to say this took a toll on me. Bearing in mind our relationship, when my mother passed I didn't expect it to hit me so hard. It literally felt like I was gutted. And so the past few months have been about me trying to figure it all out. I still can't figure it out. I don't really talk about what I'm feeling and prefer to write about it so here I am writing about it. The sadness is constantly there. The pain sometimes is so much it literally feels like my heart will burst into a thousand pieces and sometimes I feel like God is nowhere to be found. So each day I have to get up and forge ahead and put a smile on my face when all I want to do is scream and run down the streets naked uttering profanity no man has ever thought of.

But each day is a new day, a new opportunity to improve on self. So while I try to improve on myself on the inside with God's help I will also try to improve on my outside appearance. I'm an emotional eater and I have gained even more weight since the passing of my mother! Its time I look after myself. Its time I saw that I matter. For so long I put my needs second to everyone. But I need to look after myself. Someone once said that in order for you to know that you have a purpose you just need to realise that you were not born to exist. There's got to be more to life.

And so my 12 week challenge begins on my physical being. Each week I will post a new goal to achieve. It won't be anything humongous but it will definitely add to weightloss and it has to be easy enough that it can be maintained for life. So starting on Monday my goal will be to have 2litres of water everyday.

Drop me a line and let me know what your goal will be.

Thank you for letting me bear my soul larders. It takes a village.

Have a fab weekend! I'm so excited, I'm going to a wedding this evening. I'll take some pics and load them for your personal viewing.lol

Much love
Larder N
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Dizzy Lizzy

21 October 2011 (Friday at 22:40)

Name change… The (mis)adventures of Blubber Girl

This week was hectic and flew by without my permission. On Monday and Tuesday I was off work from sickness. My doctor and the pharmacist were convinced that I was pregnant and it took some convincing that there is no chance on earth, in heaven and hell that I could be pregnant and so the doctor eventually concluded that I had gastro(sometechnicaltermthatismissinheretoendoffgastro).

I was so dizzy for about 4 days. It was the weirdest feeling ever. I will admit that I have been eating a lot of turd in the last two weeks all in the name of MY BIRTHDAY (10/10). On my birthday I had about 3 glasses of champagne and a glass of wine and a whole load of food (might I add that it was 100% unhealthy. Main ingredients included cholesterol, heart attack, constipation and death) – preceding and subsequent to the celebratory events that partook. I believe I had the best time of my life on my birthday. First a few of my closest friends and I went to watch the sun set. One of my most favourite past times is to find a quiet spot and watch the sun set and look at all the different colours a sunset has. Then we proceeded to go to the beach for a midnight swim much to the dismay of a few friends because it “was not safe” wah wah blah blah. It turned out to be the most magical time of my life because when we got there, the moon shone so bright the entire beach area was completely lit. There was also a couple that was chilling at the beach with a BONFIRE!!! One of my most ultimate dreams was to have a beach party with bonfire. Later on they started fire dancing and it was awesome. A moment in my history where I knew unequivocally that we don’t need material things to make us happy. I had beach, sunset, firedancing, bonfire and most of all my awesome friends (albeit some were missing) who made me feel so lovedJ. I still marvel.

Back to this week…

After I took a forced sabbatical from gym I went back full force today. It was AWESOME! I started off with a little walk for about 40 minutes this morning and it also did wonders for me. Moments where I get to spend longish periods of time outside are few and far between because life is just so darned busy. I wake up, get ready for work, get into the car, drive to work, from work into car and into gym, from gym into car go home. Hardly time to spend outside breathing fresh air. So at 5am (I was woken up my car alarm going off – so you can imagine the adrenaline of expecting someone trying to steal your car and gearing yourself up to MOER* the hell out of someone for a) disturbing my sleep and b) most importantly trying to steal my car. AND it turned out that the alarm went off just because it can. I still believe it was God waking me up.) I got out of bed and went for a walk. Breathed in fresh air and enjoyed watching the sun rise [I am a black hippie/tree hugger – I know, it is weird , don’t judge just love] and ran a little. Yes, I ran a little! So shocked! I RAN!!!

I was in such a good mood at work. After work, I went to the gym and as mentioned previously it. was. AWESOME! I’m sore all over but I’m enjoying the pain.

Tomorrow I am going to attempt a 5km walk. Gonna try to do it under 50 mins which means for every 10 minutes I must walk a kilometer. That’s funny. Sometimes I have faaar too much faith in myself.

Have a good weekend all!

*MOER means beating the turd out of someone.

Um... (from Umbridge)

14 October 2011

Name change… The token fat black girl.

Hello Cyber World!

It’s been an age! Welcome back to me. I must apologise for being away for so long. It has been such a rough few months. So much has happened yet so little has changed. Do you ever get moments like those where your world feels like it was turned inside out and upside down but you feel like the events that took place are not worth mentioning? Well, that’s my story.

Brief summary of my life thus far…

I went through such a crazy stage this year of most of my evening classes at varsity were cancelled and had to get to varsity during the day which meant that I would have to take time off during working hours to go to varsity. THAT WAS A CHALLENGE IF THERE EVER WAS! Needless to say, last semester my marks were not awesome. I was THAT average student i.e. I would be excited if I got 50% for a test… ugh!

My mother got ill, very ill. She has always been ill with arthritis and stuff but over the last three and half months she got progressively worse and the last month was to become one of the most challenging time of my existence. She was so ill with goodness only knows what. She had to be carried to the loo, she only slept. She was too weak to do anything. She could not eat or drink. If she did she would pass it either by involuntary purging or a more conventional way – which for manner’s sake I shall not blatantly mention – but more brutal. She got to a stage of passing blood. She stopped breathing twice and so on and so forth. Eventually she was admitted to the hospital where they have been able to treat her somewhat. She is better now and we are back to fighting over everything which is a good sign!!

As a result of my mother’s sickness, I decided to take a break from my studies this semester. I was not crushed as I knew that this was something that I needed to do for my sanity, my family and work. I am happy to announce that I am getting that feeling back of wanting to study again. When I decided to quit, it wasn’t fun to study anymore. It had become something that was a chore and felt like I was doing something bad as I felt bad for taking time off work to go to class and I was not spending as much time at home, gym and my spiritual life had taken a knock. It was a well deserved break. The only challenge is that next year I will be studying via correspondence and that will take a lot of discipline. I really will need as much support around me to carry on as studying via correspondence works hand in hand with procrastination and I believe that I have a PhD in procrastinating. Take for example this blog…

Brief summary to continue next time!

Peace, love and sore Achilles!

p.s. Joke of the day… apparently Chuck Norris had phone sex and it took two days for Blackberry to recover!!!! J