HelloJ
Compliments of the new year…WHAT THE FINANCIALSTATEMENTS
DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Who thinks of these things????
How are you? I’m fine thanks
So 2014 was one EPIC year for me. I got a job that I LOVE. I
don’t struggle to wake up to go to work in the mornings at all. I love my
colleagues (even though they drive me to drink copious amounts of wine – that’s
my story and I’m sticking to it – sometimes). I have been working damn hard but
learning A LOT along the way. I think they call it upskilling (rah rah posh). I
lost 13 kgs (26 pounds) and still going strong. My eating habits have improved
significantly. I prefer a salad over pizza. I’m absolutely loving eating fruit.
I literally will crave fruit! (I know right??? I want to vomit on myself as I
am typing this). For two weeks straight I craved pineapple & when I
eventually got to eat it, I lapped it up like I just came across an oasis in
the Sahara desert after wandering for 7 straight months (yes, I am the queen of
exaggeration and that’s why you love me… right?)
So last year I committed myself to running/walking a 10km by
my birthday (October) and that did not happen. Main reason is that I was poop
scared to do it so I found every excuse under the sun to not run it. This year
I am really keen to commit to this 10km. My knee has been calm a little bit
because I haven’t been running and putting such heavy impact on it. I have been
doing pilates, Zumba, Shibam, swimming & resistance training. Granted its
only 13 days into the year but hey at least I am getting into a rhythm. I would
like to run it within the first quarter of the year – April absolute latest. I
read that doing a lot of resistance training is an epic way to drop fat faster
than cardio so I am trying that as well. I also read that if the burning/pain
sensation is still there after 24 hours it means you burnt the hell outta those
fat cell niggas. The more fat cell niggas burn the more body fat I drop the
lighter I become and boom! I can start running without placing too much
pressure on my knees.
Allow me a moment to be deep …thanks…
I feel like this time I am doing the weight loss thing
right. My head is right, I am rejecting a lot of the so called bad foods
organically. This is because I finally faced my demons towards the end of 2013
& beginning 2014. Between you and me, internet world, you don’t get to be
as big as I am without using food as some sort of drug to mask pain instead of
dealing with it. For the weight to come off and stay off you need to address
head on why you are fat. Growing up I endured abuse & rejection at home
(school & community). Food was my source of comfort – it was the only thing
that never rejected me. I had to address that, cry for many many days (I
actually had to teach myself to cry because I taught myself to stop crying when
I was eleven as that was the only way that my abuser would feel like she won,
when I was started to cry. When I didn’t cry, it meant that she didn’t win, she
is not breaking me. Little did I know the effects would follow me into my adult
life) and grieve the many times I was hurt as a child/teenager. I fought with
God about why did that have to happen to me. All I can come up with is that He
knows the bigger picture and if I can help just one person to get through their
abuse and show them that there is more to life than the abuse then I would have
done my purpose in life. I had to face
the pain head on and realise that the pain of all the crap will not kill me.
Believe it or not I did not die from facing the pain. It sucked but I got
through it. Lastly, I had to take responsibility of where I am not blame it on
genetics or abuse or that the price of petrol is ridiculous or that cockroaches
multiply at an astronomical rate or that men are from Mars and women are from
Venus. Now it is on to the next chapter in my book of awesomeness.
So it’s almost two years since I moved to JHB & I still
haven’t accomplished getting on to radio & theatre. I have three months to
really make moves.
Boys happened. Ugh. Assholes. That part wasn’t epic. I’m so
over ‘overgrown’ boys. They could be in their late thirties but they will still
act like boys. I want a man not a boy. That’s as much time I am going to spend
on this stupid subject BOYS *insertappropriateexpletivehere
2015…the best is yet to come. Watch this space.
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