Seriously...I am really worried about the English language

Larders

There are people in the world that use "totes" instead of "totally" and "uzh" (I dont even know how to spell it) instead of "usually" and "awks" instead of "awkward" on day to day basis, when having a regular conversation like its a Tuesday! What is happening????

And in other news...Its Zumba today! YAY!!!

Just because I can, I took selfie of myself (duh) at the gym the other day. I struggled so much to take a proper pic. I don't know if I should be proud or embarrased of the fact that I can't take a selfie.
(this is awkward...the picture will not upload)

Lastly, this year...please commit yourself to doing more good for the world. Be kind to each other. Smile to a stranger. Make someone laugh. Be a light. We really need it. I am really disturbed by the likes of ISIS and Boko Haram.

"When the enemy comes in like a flood, God will raise a standard"

Much love

xo

ML

Thin girl problems

Larders

 

How are you? I’m fine thanks.

 

So today I just had a real thin girl problem moment. MY CLOTHES ARE BECOMING TOO BIG FOR ME! Please allow me this douche bag moment….NOTHING FITS, BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS BECOMING TOO BIG! Lol (said as condescendingly as possible).

I think I have lost two full dress sizes. By the end of February I most likely will have lost another dress size. I love thin girl problems. These problems I can deal with.

So last night instead of being out and about partying with the proverbial homies, I was partying it up with Virgin Active. Yes. On a Saturday night I was at the gym. Do you know what I discovered; nothing fuels a work out more than anger. Remember my previous blog where I spoke about a boy? I pictured him as I was working out and I ran the hell out of that treadmill & swung (swinged, swang? wtf?)  the demons out of the battle rope. Two guys even came to me afterward and they said I was a beast with the rope. I just said “it’s because I am angry” and I walked away laughing evilly.

Then, some poor poor sod (handsome might I add) was trying to mack on me but I was in no mood. So I just walked away from him. The male species is not my favourite right now. But I refuse to be another angry black woman. I’ll just be an angry black woman for three weeks then I’ll get over it. I just need some ammunition for the gym.

Tomorrow is the third anniversary of my mother’s death. I guess its true what they say, the pain never goes away, you just learn to live with it.

Later

xo

ML

 

Variety truly is the spice of life

Larders

 

How are you? I’m fine thanks.

 So, I love having revelations about life. It makes me excited to wake up in the morning to discover more and more about life. I still don’t know the answer to life’s biggest question – sorry.

Wednesdays are my most favourite gym days because it means that it’s Zumba. In case I haven’t mentioned this about ten thousand times before, I love LOVE Zumba. I love to dance and move my bordy (all the while pretending to be Beyonce – except the part where I am married to Jay Z) and all the while I am burning excess kilojoules and getting fitter.

While I was waiting for the class to start, I started thinking back on my day and the investigation that I have just recently embarked on about food & fuelling my body to perform at its peak. And then BAM! I had a revelation…. (I’m going to start preaching now but bear with me & while we’re at it, when last did you go to church??? No judgement. Ok, maybe a little)Truly God is a God of variety. Exhibit G…FOOD. Upon my investigation today I realised that I need to eat different types of foods to get the different types of nutrients to get my body to function at its optimum level. There is so much to discover food wise & most of this comes from all natural foods. For example, I need to eat bananas to get my fill of potassium to avoid leg cramps while I sleep in the middle of the night (this is a major inconvenience), to build strong bones I need to eat more dark green leafy veg (spinach – yes, yuck. I cringe at the thought too) as it has heaps of calcium, to help my joints I need to eat berries, coffee is to prevent me from killing my colleagues,  wine is 100% vitamin everything and the list goes on. Guess what this means for a person with short attention span like me who hates to get bored – new discoveries when I go grocery shopping are about to go down! This year I fully commit to finding out more about what fuel my body needs to achieve optimally. I will share my experiences with you. I am not a doctor (I sometimes believe I am though. I place the blame squarely on Shonda Rhimes for creating Greys Anatomy) and what will work for me may not work for you. This is all about experiment. Also, if you are looking for me to count calories – turn the page. I ain’t about that life.

I would also like to further study this theory that people should not eat fruit because fruit has sugar (duh) & sugar is bad for you. Excuse my ignorance but don’t we need sugar for energy? In my life I have never heard of anyone having gained weight from eating fruit…It doesn’t make sense. HOW THE HELL MUCH FRUIT WOULD YOU EAT TO GAIN WEIGHT??? (perhaps I should as a fruitarian. I also don’t understand what a fruitarian is but that’s a story for another day). Completely eliminating a food group from your diet is dangerous & WILL lead to failure. I’m all about keeping it as close to mother nature as possible. I repeat DON’T CUT OUT FOOD GROUPS, IT IS DANGEROUS. Keep it natural. I know it means more preparation & cooking but for those of you who do not have time, that is what Woolworths is for.

God does not want us to get bored. He wants life to keep interesting. So next time when things in your life aren’t going as planned just remember its God keeping it interesting & believe me there is a lesson to be learnt that you can also impart on others. I like to think of my life as a theatrical drama and I am the main actor and each year I had better get an Oscar or Emmy or Tony or whatever for playing my part LIKE. A. BAWS.

Jordin Sparks was recently quoted saying that when things don’t go according to plan just think “plot twist”.

I would like to leave you with these words that I heard from one of my most favourite sitcoms of all time New Girl “smile, it’s just life”

 

Later

Xo

ML

Its 2015!!!! WHAT?

HelloJ

Compliments of the new year…WHAT THE FINANCIALSTATEMENTS DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Who thinks of these things????

How are you? I’m fine thanks

So 2014 was one EPIC year for me. I got a job that I LOVE. I don’t struggle to wake up to go to work in the mornings at all. I love my colleagues (even though they drive me to drink copious amounts of wine – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it – sometimes). I have been working damn hard but learning A LOT along the way. I think they call it upskilling (rah rah posh). I lost 13 kgs (26 pounds) and still going strong. My eating habits have improved significantly. I prefer a salad over pizza. I’m absolutely loving eating fruit. I literally will crave fruit! (I know right??? I want to vomit on myself as I am typing this). For two weeks straight I craved pineapple & when I eventually got to eat it, I lapped it up like I just came across an oasis in the Sahara desert after wandering for 7 straight months (yes, I am the queen of exaggeration and that’s why you love me… right?)

So last year I committed myself to running/walking a 10km by my birthday (October) and that did not happen. Main reason is that I was poop scared to do it so I found every excuse under the sun to not run it. This year I am really keen to commit to this 10km. My knee has been calm a little bit because I haven’t been running and putting such heavy impact on it. I have been doing pilates, Zumba, Shibam, swimming & resistance training. Granted its only 13 days into the year but hey at least I am getting into a rhythm. I would like to run it within the first quarter of the year – April absolute latest. I read that doing a lot of resistance training is an epic way to drop fat faster than cardio so I am trying that as well. I also read that if the burning/pain sensation is still there after 24 hours it means you burnt the hell outta those fat cell niggas. The more fat cell niggas burn the more body fat I drop the lighter I become and boom! I can start running without placing too much pressure on my knees.

Allow me a moment to be deep …thanks…

I feel like this time I am doing the weight loss thing right. My head is right, I am rejecting a lot of the so called bad foods organically. This is because I finally faced my demons towards the end of 2013 & beginning 2014. Between you and me, internet world, you don’t get to be as big as I am without using food as some sort of drug to mask pain instead of dealing with it. For the weight to come off and stay off you need to address head on why you are fat. Growing up I endured abuse & rejection at home (school & community). Food was my source of comfort – it was the only thing that never rejected me. I had to address that, cry for many many days (I actually had to teach myself to cry because I taught myself to stop crying when I was eleven as that was the only way that my abuser would feel like she won, when I was started to cry. When I didn’t cry, it meant that she didn’t win, she is not breaking me. Little did I know the effects would follow me into my adult life) and grieve the many times I was hurt as a child/teenager. I fought with God about why did that have to happen to me. All I can come up with is that He knows the bigger picture and if I can help just one person to get through their abuse and show them that there is more to life than the abuse then I would have done my purpose in life.  I had to face the pain head on and realise that the pain of all the crap will not kill me. Believe it or not I did not die from facing the pain. It sucked but I got through it. Lastly, I had to take responsibility of where I am not blame it on genetics or abuse or that the price of petrol is ridiculous or that cockroaches multiply at an astronomical rate or that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Now it is on to the next chapter in my book of awesomeness.

So it’s almost two years since I moved to JHB & I still haven’t accomplished getting on to radio & theatre. I have three months to really make moves.

Boys happened. Ugh. Assholes. That part wasn’t epic. I’m so over ‘overgrown’ boys. They could be in their late thirties but they will still act like boys. I want a man not a boy. That’s as much time I am going to spend on this stupid subject BOYS *insertappropriateexpletivehere

2015…the best is yet to come. Watch this space.

xo

ML