I MADE PIE!!!

Larders

Totally not safe for consumption if you wanna restrict your calorie consumption but I MADE A PIE!!!

Ps. Slight obsession with New York much?
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Word to the wise

Be clear about your intention and the 'universe' will rise up to meet you... Ms Oprah

Remember the universes and all that is in them were created by words. Change the words in your head, your heart and about you so that they are conducive to building and breath life and love.

Xo

ML
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Larders

Happy Holidays!!

I'm housesitting over the holiday season and I think that feeling like my life is in danger every second, it has made me contemplate my life and as a result I have decided I am going to move on from my company. I'm a person that is very loyal and I have been in a proper war with myself because I work for really good people but being good people has not been paying my bills at the end of the month.

I am dying without gym. I don't like going for a walk by myself. I love love love the gym. I'm tired of having sleepless nights at month end. I need to be comfortable in my living. I need a new car and clothes. I need to get back to studying. Hot Dang It!!! I need to travel and break many exotic hearts with my dashing looks! I need to focus on starting my business and giftings. This all equates to me needing money to make money.

And in other news, over the last few weeks I been busy. I reconnected with an old varsity mate of mine. Its been so good! She is such a solid person and go getter and VERY real. The world needs more people like her. We went to Maboneng Precinct. Another mate of mine from EL (orange dress) came over and we went to Vacca Matta. I'm not the type who likes to go out and get drunk but I wanna be on the dance floor and Vacca filled that void for sure!

Pics are attached! Larders have an AWESOME New Years and please please be safe. Let's make 2014 ours!

Tahnee (in a grey top/jersey thingy), one of my faithful readers is on the pics. She is a ridiculously lovely person with such a pure spirit. I hope she moves closer to us and we can hang out more!

Much love
Xoxo

ML
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Out and About

Larders

On Saturday I joined my housemate and some ladies at VIP to celebrate all the good things that have happened over the year. It was a good evening. The music at first left MUCH to be desired. It sounded like someone was playing video games and just added bass guitar. Needless to say I am not a fan of rave music. As the evening progressed the music went from "WHAT THE PECK CRAP IS THIS NOISE THAT'S HURTING MY EARS?" to "YOOOOOHHHH! OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP I'M JUUUUUST DYING THIS IS GOOOOOOD". You know when you take off your heels to dance the music is THAT GOOD!!

I danced so much for about 2 hours and Sunday I was so buggered I stayed in bed all day. I dont know how clubbers do the whole clubbing thing every weekend. I think I only recovered yesterday morning. The photos are of us getting ready. In hindsight I wish I had taken pics of us at VIP. Its a beautiful place, very posh.

Have a good day!

Much love

Mother Larder

Gift

Larders

Before I carry on, I just wanted to take time out to say thank you to all 5 (ha! - maybe a little ambitious but I can dream right?) of you who read my blog. It is very encouraging to hear from people who read and are able to relate. I know I have been very slack about posting but I would like to think that when I post a blog it comes from a place of honesty, to hopefully encourage and remind ourselves that we do not exist in solitude - no man can be an island. We need each other to survive. THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL LARDERS!

So, every year towards the end of the year I always receive a (without sound loopy) word about what the year ahead will bring. I was just sitting a minding my business and I kept hearing the word "gift". There is a bible verse that goes "your gift will make room for you" and I feel like I need to concentrate on cultivating my gifts so that they can make room for me and make me flourish. Larders, I implore you to do the same. I'm not one of those people who believe in luck, though I firmly believe in destiny and timing. I have always believed that your inner most dreams that you tell no one because they sound so ridiculous and will not seem to die (every now and again that dream you had when you were 18 keeps rearing its little pretty head) are your destiny. And if we are real, how many of us actually live our dreams?

I am happiest when I am doing certain things and which I have mentioned in previous posts. Those things I am very good at and they come naturally to me. Some of them I am just realising now. A looooooong time friend of mine, lets call her Thulani, kept telling me that I am a good writer. I knew that I am an average poet but as far as writing is concerned I thought "nigga be trippin'". As I write more and more for work and personally I realise that it would be epic to write a book in the veeeeeeery far future. Reading I love to do but to sit and write a whole book would be LEGENDARY even if only 2 people read it, it would still be "LEGEN------ihopeyou'renotlactoseintolerantbecausethenextwordis...DAIRY" (As Bunny from How I Met Your Mother would put it). I am DAMN good at make up (not to toot my own horn but really I am) and I will concentrate on starting something around that. These are just two of my gifts.

What are your gifts? What makes heart smile? What makes you giddy? Ponder on it and start something. Don't live in a world of "cant". Just because someone else couldn't doesn't mean you also can't. Pink said it best 'make the voices in your head like you instead' 'you gotta get up and try and try and try'. Don't let yourself die without having lived to the fullest. We do this together? Lets keep each other accountable.

COMING UP NEEEXT... WEIGHT GOALS! Its time to get back into it. We start something FOR HEALTH AND EXERCISING OUR GIFTS.

Love yourself because wherever you go, there you are

xo
ML

New York New York

Larders

Let me tell you a story. Many many many moons ago I had just moved into my own place. It was a big room in East London at a place called Birmingham Place (it was an old age home). I lived on the top floor which was the second floor. I remember this time being a very lonely time of my life but I was also very happy to be living on my own. It was a Friday night, I had just realised how much I loved candles and lamps and had switched some on which made the mood very 'romantic' (not in a 'I wanna be your lover' kind of way - maybe more nostalgic...yes definately nostalgic). I had the windows open because a) it was hot and b) (most importantly) the people that lived there before me were dirty (not as in I wanna spank you dirty but seven deadly sins sloth kind of dirty) which meant the constant smell of pee needed to be aired out and the can of 'doom' I had emptied to kill the roaches was killing my lungs and needed fresh air. No jokes, the amount of roaches that I killed on a weekly basis must have reached at least 80. Remember I was living in a room. As my English teacher used to say "anyways, I digress".

The 'apartment' building was placed on the main street of East London which meant it was constantly busy. I absolutely loved hearing sirens go by, people walking cars driving by, nature croaking in the distance. It felt like a lullaby. Plus I could over-look the city and see the city lights in the distance and it made me yearn for something bigger. That was 2006/7. Since then every Friday night, without fail, I will yearn to be in New York. Over the past couple of years my yearning to be in New York has grown exponentially. Every single day I dream of living in New York, performing on broadway, and owning my own businesses. When I listen to John Mayer (amongst others) I feel like I am in New York and my heart leaps. Is it normal to feel this way? I don't know. But tonight as I type this I make a promise to myself that I will get to live in NY. As happy as I am to be living in JHB, the yearning to be a New Yorker grows bigger and deeper each day. I have always theorised that whatever your dreams are, that is ur destiny. Living in NY is part of my destiny and I am praying and opening myself up to God to fulfill that destiny. Will Smith once said 'if you have a dream protect it'. I will protect this dream and it will not stay a dream, it WILL be realised, it WILL become a reality. Few things I need to focus on as steps to realise my dream:

#find finances to pay off friendX for her car ASAP;
#get back to my studies and finish my economics degree;
#get involved in theatre;
#lose weight to be healthier and get roles in theatre;
#get into radio;
#get out of debt; and
#start my own business.

And so it would seem that JHB is but the beginning of something bigger. I've never EVER been outside the borders of RSA but I believe its possible to achieve living - successfully - in the biggest city in the world.

Happy Monday (Mondays are still ass crack but hey, we all need those)

Xo
ML
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most honest blog entry

Larders

Full disclosure: I am not one who likes to talk about weaknesses and feelings and stuff. This entry is very raw and emotionally vulnerable and it stinks that I am opening myself up like that. It is however, a necessary part of losing weight - even if it is emotional weight.

I have been in a funk. A. DEEP. HOLE. FUNK. Let me describe how the last few months have been like for me... going under into theatre and having an angry doctor cut you open without anaesthetic, taking out all your insides, roll them up into a ball, play rugby with them and when angry doctor is bored, he puts them back in and uses a normal paper stapler to close me up. All this happening while I watch. Not gruesome at all I know. But that's the truth. Right now I have to go back to a real doctor and get my insides properly sorted out and get the wound sorted out because it's possibly infected.

I did not feel motivated to do anything. For various reasons. One, depression sucks. It gets you when you least expect it. Two, life happened and it happened like a Tsunami wave and now the wave has gone back to wherever and now has left ruins. Its time to clean up the muck and start again.

June 16th I was involved in a car accident with a friend's car. Unbeknownst to me, the friend's car was uninsured. A claim was lodged against the other party (she skipped a stop street) however the other party's insurance rejected the claim. I unfortunately did not have any witnesses and this meant that it was my word against hers. Friend's car has been in a bad state - unable to drive kind of bad state. It has never been a question of me not taking responsibility for my part in the accident. Trying to get finances to help fix her car has not been easy. I moved to JHB and decided to take a job that does not pay a lot to get experience and exposure in a different industry and position. What I get paid is pretty much a stipend and barely covers my living expenses. As a result banks laugh in my face when I request a loan. In the interim friend is stuck in East London without a car which has impacted on her working and social life. Our friendship?? Took a huge knock and maybe in years to come we will be good friends again. But my quest to find finances to sort her out still continues...

At the end of June, I moved out of where I was staying because I decided I'm a grown ass woman and I am ready to stand on my own. In some ways it was good, in other ways it wasn't wise. I got to drive on the freeway everyday! If you are a small towner like me, you will understand the thrill of driving on the continent's biggest freeway. I felt like a real Joburger. I loved hearing on the radio about Rivonia being backed up and I was in the thick of it or there would be a stationery truck on the N1 and I would have just driven past the truck. The hard parts were about me having to leave my place at 06:15 to avoid being stuck in traffic as my oldasscar overheats quickly. Winter here has been an absolute b&tch!!! I would be so cold that my bones would ache. One time, I got into my car, tried to wipe the fog from the windscreen. The fog wouldn't come off. And then I realised IT WAS A LAYER OF ICE!!! I died! dead. dead.

Remember me saying that my salary (insert ugly laugh here because what I earn doesn't really constitute a salary) barely covered my living expenses? Well I had to downgrade. The first thing that had to go was my gym membership. I am now a walker. in inverted commas. I haven't actually walked more than five times in two months. Three of the times that I walked was because Kit (my car) broke down and had to walk to work.

On the bright side, I now have my own flat! Albeit, I'm sharing with a friend but both of our names on the lease. IT. FEELS. AWESOME. More good news is that my sister and her kids are moving up to Centurion which is about 30 minutes from where I stay! I am so excited for her and her new lease on life.

Joburg winter mimicked a dark period in my life. Here is to Spring and Summer bring about thunder showers of blessings, happiness....Dear Lord I hope it is so!

We'll chat soon

xoxo
ML

This (not so) little light of mine....

I had an epiphany the other day. I was house sitting with a good friend at her sister's place. We shared the same room and bed. (A little bit of background - I've been in survival mode for most of my life i.e. no wasting of resources as times are hard.) In the morning she put her bedside lamp on and carried on about her business. I got up and started looking for clothes in my bag for the day. I remember trying to figure out what was in my bag with the little light that I had for fear (or caution or apprehension or stupidity) of switching my light on as that would (I felt) waste electricity. Then I thought to myself 'myself? what if I switched on my lamp? I'd see much better'. Then I had a light bulb moment (pun here... get it? Ha!) I have spent the better part of my life in someone's shadow, trying to boost someone else and I remain in the shadow. It seemed like the right thing to do and it IS the right thing to do but it has been to my detriment. If I live off someone else's light then I'll be scrounging for crumbs whereas if I switch on my light I will have the opportunity to see clearer and find exactly what I want to 'wear' and be much more satisfied. It also strenuous on the other person as they may find themselves having to stretch out their light so that I can also see. But if I decide to put on my light, live off my light (not in a selfish way but the way I was destined) then I would be living my purpose. Most of all the world would not crumble because I switched on my light. The world would carry on. I'm not the world's saviour. I'm not Jesus, He got that part down. There's no need for me to take over. Come to think of it, its a bit condescending to think that others will not survive if I decided to switch on my light. Its selfish and condescending.

If that made sense, great! If it didn't - tough.

This episode of the ramblings of mother larder was brought to you by properasskickingmomentsexperiencedinjohannesburgbringingaboutclarity.

Speak to you soon

ML
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Shoes...

Larders

About three months ago I bought the most stunning pair of shoes that I have owned to date. Problem is I can't wear them without falling and ankles threatening to break. They are so high! I have never worn them out of the house because literally take 10 steps and I fall. Now these shoes form part of an outfit that I want to wear for a family wedding I will be attending in September. You may think to yourself "come on Mother Larder, September is so far just practise wearing the damn shoes!". I agree with you whole heartedly. The problem lies with the fact that I have now developed somewhat of a fear of wearing these shoes. To the normal person they may look fine but until I moved to JHB wearing heels was an occasional thing. In JHB heels are a must for any girl. And the higher the better. Your wardrobe forms part of your resume. So in order to be relevant and have a competitive edge in the job sector I need to look the part. Plus there's nothing that screams HOT! like a killer pair of heels.

And so begs the question? How do I get over my fear of these shoes? I don't know but I need to get over it and fast.

Here are some pics of the shoes plus some outfits from thrifting!!

Till later
Xo
Mother Larder
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Amazeballs...

Really?! Who the eff came up with that?! Please stop saying that. Its annoying. The word is AMAZING hot dang it!!

Thanks

ML
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Florence and The Machine

Larders

There's a song by Florence and the Machine that goes "sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air...sometimes I feel like saying Lord I just don't care". Winter is my least favourite season and it constantly proves itself to be a punk. Not only is it so cold that I feel like my fingers will fall off but its also the most challenging season in all spheres i.e. spiritually, emotionally and financially.

Last Friday I was so stressed my knot (just under my left shoulder blade) was so painful my back, arm and neck were also paining. I also could not really turn my neck. But somehow after sleeping it off, I woke up Saturday knowing that God is going to make a way where there seems to be no way. He has to because I have no other option but to depend on him.

Friends and family are also going through very trying times and I wish I could be there to help them but all I can do is pray for them. Like the song goes "this too shall pass" and I refuse to give up. Nothing worthwhile ever came easily. Plus Summer will come again in 4 months:))

I went to the gym yesterday for the first time since I made the big move. Let me start with the changing rooms.... They are so pretty! Its dark wood and hair dryers everywhere and gorgeous showers and there are TVs tuned in to SKY news and CNN. I felt so intelligent walking out. The lighting was blue tho. Felt a little like a porn set. Weird.

The rest of the gym is nice and small and cozy which I love. But there are waaaaay too many people. When I gym I don't want to be bumping into Jack, Jill and Heidie. (No, I'm not fussy at all)

Then there was my first Zumba class.... Ever heard of the phrase "white man can't dance"? Well I felt like a deaf, blind, partially paralyzed white man in there. Everyone was in sync except me! I'm black dang it! I should have rythm! But I'll be damned! When they were cha-cha-ing to the left I was hopping to the right. When they were grapevining, I was spinning. I was HOPELESSLY lost. My ultimate was that all the people in the class were thin, happy and pretty! I wanted to projectile vomit on them. Ugh. Stupid happy people. I guess I'm a sucker for punishment coz I'm going again tmro for more.

Have a lovely week!

Chat soon.

Ps. My new favourite past time is thrifting. A friend of mine bout this skirt for me for R20 (which is about 2 american dollars?). I LOVE the buttons on the skirt! Praise the Lord for dead folk who donate their stuff. (Yes. Yes. I know, that was insensitive. Get over it)
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Lets hear it for Jozi!!

Beautiful Larders

Been a while. Believe me I have missed you more than the dessert misses the rain! (ok, flow of the day done).

Nothing much to report on except I MOVED TO THE ECONOMIC HUB OF SOUTH AFRICA!!! I am now a joburger!  i made the move a little over three weeks ago. I was unsure of my move until i got here. I still pinch myself from time to time because I never in a million years thought I would reside here. I have a gracious friend who encouraged me to quit my job in East London and come live with her until I am on my feet. I tell you the truth if you ever have a friend like that... keep them, they are the real deal. Living with each other has not been smooth sailing as we are soooo different in many respects but its been more than a blessing to me.

I have been trying get used to the completely different lifestyle. First of all - the crime! Two weeks after I moved here I witnessed someone being hijacked. Now, I had a healthy degree of paranoia living in East London but now I am constantly on edge and I hate it. sometimes I manage to convince myself that a pice of paper floating in the air is secretly a tissue with chlorofoam to  make me unconscious so 'they' can hijack me (whoever 'they' are). Secondly - the traffic! MY GOSH! I am very blessed to not have to be in traffic alot but I have to leave the house at 7am! this is so I can avoid traffic. My work is about 7 kilometers from home but it can take up to 45 mins to get to work if I do not time myself. Thirdly - the driving! In East London if u said a place was around the corner, it literally meant that. Here, people say something is around the corner and 20 mins later u r still on the road! On the upside though I can play more than one song while on the road.

I did not expect to be so homesick. A few times I wondered if Imade the right decision and every time I'd get to the same conclusion.....HELL YES. I have no idea what will transpire in the next few months and I love that! The opportunities here are limitless. The only thing that needs to change about me is that I need to embrace more of a hustling attitude. This is it. This is life. People are looking after their own and I need to do me. The one thing that JHB needs though is the beach. I miss my impromptu walks at the beach.

I have not been to the gym for at least two months and I can feel it. I have a ton of admin to get through and first on my list was to let you know that I'm alive but busy.

I have a great deal of supporters cheering me on and I thank you all so much. Without your encouraging words I would have sold myself to the Marsians. I need a back massage from stress...any takers?

Lets chat soon.

Much love.
xo
Mother Larder

This S. is real!

Larders

Been a while. Been a roller coaster! The last month and a half has been just sweat, blood, tears and changes. So far I have lost a total of 4 kgs. Feels AH MAZING to finally report that. I think I have lost about 1% of body fat - which is most important to me.

I have 5 weeks before I go to a wedding to Johannesburg and I would like to lose 5kgs! This sh1t gets real from today. The last three days have been an eating fest (I feel horrible for even saying that) and haven't been able to exercise because of my knee and pulled muscle. Its been a challenge to walk!

So, things to achieve this year:

-Lose 44kg's
-Move to JHB
-Sort my education out at UNISA
-Start paying for my holiday end of 2014

But for this week, my only goal is to work wake up 4 times at 4.45am and lose 1,5kgs.

On the emotional side. Its been really rough. I cannot shake the deep sadness of missing my mother. My first instinct is to push my feelings aside but I'm facing the pain head on. So much about me is changing and I love it. 2013 is proving to be an awesome year. Praise the Lord for all of this.

Till tomorrow

Xo
Mother Larder
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Untitled

Sometimes the reality of death hits me so hard that its like I've been winded. Last week I thought I should call my mother as I hadn't spoken to her in a long while then I realised the awkwardness of that situation. Today at the shop I saw a woman who had the same hairstyle, my heart quickened...then reality punched me in the gut.

Today I read that pain doesn't go away but you learn to live with it.

Xo
ML
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Rainbow Nation

White Folk....

My boss is going on a 3 month sabbatical in June. He will be travelling the whole of Southern Africa. This sounds nice enough EXCEPT most of the trip will entail having to use pitsystem toilets, "rustic showers" (what that means is beyond me), no electricity AND there is wildlife. Wildlife means snakes AND LIONS just roaming around especially at night. Seriously?! There is even a blog about these camp sites. One guy says he was sleeping in a one man pitch tent and a lion was busy roaring outside his tent tempted to charge at him! He proceeds to say "it was fun"!!! May I add that these camping sites are booked months and months in advance?! I'm telling you, I loves me some white folk but they need Jesus...

Morons!

ML

Reality Check

Larders

I'm having such deep revelations lately about weight. This morning as I was washing dishes I realised that I have been fighting the "battle of the bulge" for about 15 years. There was a moment where I won for a little while and lost about 10 kgs but then I gained it back plus an added 17 kgs.

 

A frined of mine(one of my most dearest and oldest - as in we've been friends for about 15 years) once said that I should write about what would change about my life if I lost weight. I wrote down all the stuff that I thought would really change. Today, almost two years later the question still begs. Back then I thought that being able to walk into a clothing shop and buy any item of clothing because I want it not because I am limited to a certain range of clothing. I know the kind of style that I like but when heavy/fat/padded (ha!) that style comes with a heavy price. In any regard today I think I'm finally getting to the root answer of the question. If I lost weight I would not have any excuses for failure. Right now I can say that I was rejected for a presenting gig on Top Billing because I looked like a purple beached whale but when I lose (I never get it right is it loose or lose??? wtf!! *sidethought) the weight what will my reason for not going for it be? I will solely have to be accountable for my failures not my mother, not my weight but me. The buck would stop with me.

 

And in other news, I'm really enjoying getting to re-know (there I go again! coining words) me. I said to a friend that I have been living off the residue of an 18 year old and now I need to find my twenty-something year old lady. I love my twenties. I believe this is the time to take radical leaps of faith.

 

So, here is a challenge for you. Firstly, if you have been fighting the battle of the bulge find out why its been a battle for so long. There may be emotions that are hidden so deep that you don't even realise. Secondly, meditation (not in the freaky way of going "uhm" a million times) is so important. A person is made up of body, soul/spirit and mind. All these need to be aligned and in unison. If one is off beat then there is no balance.

 

You can have thousands of supporters supporting you with you weightloss but if you are not all in it. Its going to be a battle and not an awesome journey.

xo
Mother Larder

Weigh in

Larders

What the heck?! The scale says I've gone up 500grams. Its supposed to say I've gone down 500grams at least!!! I've been good with exercising, been good with food, my clothes are not super super tight they are just super tight. Yet the DAMN scale says I gained. I. AM. NOT. IMPRESSED.

I can't wallow in this forever though, I've got to keep my mind focused on improving my fitness for the Surfers. I have just under a month left to prepare and so far its been dismal. I'm nervous. This is half a marathon. I would like to drop some weight before the surfers so there is less pressure on my joints.

I have 4 days to walk 14kms. This means I need to walk 4kms everyday till saturday. FUN.

I'm chatting with a friend currently and she is moving and shaking this year. It's really motivating me to not just lie there and do nothing. Its time to do something.

Which leads me to my next point. Today I had such a 'light bulb' moment. I been wondering why I always go 2 steps forward and 3 steps back with my weightloss. I realised that even though I said and have practised it (seldom times), I always have this mental block telling me something is bound to go wrong and thus I mustn't give my all. From a very young age I became best friends with Mr Letdown. As a result, I conditioned myself to not expect much as life and people and (dare I say it) myself have let me down so many times. I'm an optimistic-pessimist (oxymoron I know) I'm optomistic about other people and things that are within my control. If something is out of my control then I lose optimism. Now, I have no excuses to say that this person is hindering me or this circumstance is hindering me. To whoever will read this, I'll sound selfish but I don't care. I like myself. I want the best for me. I don't want me to have a half hearted life. I want to live in abundance. I have put myself in the back burner for so long that I don't even realise that I have become co-dependent. That has to be broken. No one else will live my life for me. People will walk in and out of my life but I will be with myself forever. I choose me, I choose life. There's no room for negative energy. Its all about life. I will have ups and downs but its most important to keep living, taking risks and having faith that God is betting on me. Words have bound me but words are and will set me free.

What a beautiful realisation. Be careful what you say to someone. You'll never know if your words tighten their chains or if they set free. Choose to be a vessel that helps to set free.

Xo
Mother Larder
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Week 4 of 2013

Larders

I hope you had a fabulous weekend because I most certainly did! "why? Mother Larder, what did you do that you had such an awesome weekend? Tell us, tell us please!!" you ask? I'll tell you.... Yesterday, I spent 2 hours frolicking in the sea water. The water was sooo lovely - that is after the first few minutes where I thought I would lose some limbs because of the coldness of the water. The sun has been beating down like Satan's evil brother but the water made it all better. Twice in one week I frolicked in the water. I LOVE LIVING BY THE BEACH.

Back to business....

So, I did not finish the book Heroine of the Desert. I will finish it either tonight or tomorrow night at the latest. (disclaimer: I did not proof read the last entry as I was in a rush when I wrote it. There are a few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes and I apologise for my tardiness).

Remember the 5k I was doing on Friday? I went, I saw and didn't conquer. After about 2,5k's it started raining and I was not prepared to have my phone and headphones soaking wet. So, I took a short cut, got into my car and went home. I must have walked about 3 kilometers. Saturday, a friend of mine and I attempted another 5k. This 5k is called the Nahoon Park Run (NPR). It happens every Saturday morning at 8am. It takes place by the beach. This means that you walk /  run on sand and hike up some dunes. This was fun for the first 30 seconds, then my knee started to pain and sand got into my takkies (I hate that!), it started to rain and because I am so incredibly unfit I was left behind. There was not a soul in sight! I mean, the only way I knew which direction to go was checking for foot prints. I felt like McGyver finding his way out of the Amazon. I ended up not finishing (again!!!) the race. I noticed this when I got to the parking lot and realised that I was suddenly ahead of everyone. I missed a turn that I was meant to take me onto another trail and ended up walking another 3 kilometers! I was sooo mad at myself. I have now made it a point to walk this freaking trail twice this week so I can improve on my time and hopefully not completely lose sight of people when I walk again on Saturday.

A random thought: Why is it that when I go on these walks there aren't any black folk?! When I mean black I mean Black as in Black, Coloured Folk, Indians and African Foreign Nationals. WHAT THE HELL?!

So last week I clocked about 6 kilometers and went to the gym 3 times. This is not enough for the Surfer's Marathon.

Its been established that I DO NOT like to wake up in the morning. AT ALL. I have been training my body to wake up earlier. Last night I went to sleep early, having packed out my workout clothes, pumped to wake up early and go for a walk. I set my alarm clock for 5:30am and even watched Biggest Loser to inspire me to wake up and go for a walk since I need to clock 20kms of walking each week until the Surfer's. Today I woke up about 5 minutes before the alarm clock and was so excited! I went to the loo and decided to lay down for 5 minutes. 5 minutes turned into 2 hours! There goes any chance of me going for a morning walk. ugh! As a reward to myself for not following through this morning, after gym I will have to go for a brisk walk for an 45 - 1 hr. On top of that, I have to clean the flat when I get home. Its disgusting.

I'm gonna wake up tomorrow morning and do this. I can do this. Sleep is necessary but it wont help when I attempt the Surfer's. One of the trainers on Biggest Loser (BL) said "don't try just do it.". Three words that need to leave my vocab: try, cant and hate.

With regards to the title of the entry: There are 52 weeks in a year. 3 weeks have already gone by and I haven't made enough impact. Each week I would like to do something good for someone else and for myself. And each week should find me a better person.

Food : I shall only allow 1 cheat day a week. I don't know if I should go with Sundays or Saturdays. Sundays are my rest day but Saturdays are more awesome days to cheat. I think I'll go for Sundays as cheat days.

Chat later!

xo
Mother Larder

What am I thinking?!

Larders

Firstly, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I know, I know! Before you start shouting and poking me with tridant I'm sorry I have been quiet for so long. Life happens and sometimes all one needs is solitude from the world. To quieten the voices, regroup and strategise. The bad voices are currently being slaughtered by the good voices. There is a crazy war going on in my head kids! Nuclearic proprtions!!!

Yes, its another year and I still have a sense of humour equivalent to that of a 14 year old. Live with it.

So.... New Year's resolutions.

1. Get back into my studies. I really need to finish my first degree now. Its becoming such a mission that sometimes I wanna punch someone in the face. Getting UNISA to reply is harder than asking the President if he is a silk-boxers kind of guy!

2. Read 12 books. This means I need to read one book a month. The first four books I will read are: Heroine of the Dessert (been battling to finish it), Spud (I keep starting), Of Warriors, Lovers and Prophets (also, I keep starting and never follow through) and The Dream Deferred (a Tabo Mbeki autobiography). I shall finish Heroine this weekend and begin with The Dream Deferred.

3. Drop 35 kilograms. That's a sh!t load of weight but its only half of what I need to lose. My poor body has been abused long enough. She needs a break. A carefully thought out plan needs to be implemented and accounted for.

4. Career. I dont know about this but something needs to change and soon.


I cant think of anything more to say with regards to New Year's resolutions. The year is but a fetus (ha!) so I'll keep adjusting here and there. A 'business plan' needs to be drawn.

I cant put this off anymore. I have to tell you guys coz you will keep me accountable. Your asses HAVE TO and BETTER keep me accountable. This year, in a month's time actually, I will be walking the Surfer's marathon. It is 21 kilometers of mostly water, sand and rock. The route is very scenic. Its right at the beach and on a scale of 1 - 10 in terms of difficulty - its a raging hormonal bitch.

In a few minutes, I will walk my first 5km in over a year!!! This is in preperation of the Surfer's marathon. I'll take pics and share with you my lovely Larders.

How was your holday? New Year's resolutions?

To my dear friend who commented on a previous post, I promise to reply tomorrow.

Off to bashing my head against the wall now! (I still think I'm crazy for doing the surfers)

Much love
xo

Mother Larder