Hello Larders:)
Sorry been quiet for so long. There have been some personal demons that I was trying to defeat and I realised that I didn't come on this blog to portray me as a perfect person. I'm completely imperfect! I may be very close to being perfect but there are some kinks here and there:)
A year ago my mother started to get sick, very sick. She was admitted to the hospital and the doctors treated her for symptoms but not for the cause. They ran numerous tests and being the public health care system that a) is very much under-resourced and b) some people just don't care she did not get the answers she needed. Granted, there were some more tests she needed to get done and she defaulted on those. Fast forward to four months later, my mother passed away. Now, my and my mother's relationship has been strained (to put it mildly) since I was a child for various reasons which included verbal, emotional and alcohol abuse. For the most part I was looking after my mother alone. I literally saw her deteriorate in front of me. I would physically carry her to the loo. Needless to say this took a toll on me. Bearing in mind our relationship, when my mother passed I didn't expect it to hit me so hard. It literally felt like I was gutted. And so the past few months have been about me trying to figure it all out. I still can't figure it out. I don't really talk about what I'm feeling and prefer to write about it so here I am writing about it. The sadness is constantly there. The pain sometimes is so much it literally feels like my heart will burst into a thousand pieces and sometimes I feel like God is nowhere to be found. So each day I have to get up and forge ahead and put a smile on my face when all I want to do is scream and run down the streets naked uttering profanity no man has ever thought of.
But each day is a new day, a new opportunity to improve on self. So while I try to improve on myself on the inside with God's help I will also try to improve on my outside appearance. I'm an emotional eater and I have gained even more weight since the passing of my mother! Its time I look after myself. Its time I saw that I matter. For so long I put my needs second to everyone. But I need to look after myself. Someone once said that in order for you to know that you have a purpose you just need to realise that you were not born to exist. There's got to be more to life.
And so my 12 week challenge begins on my physical being. Each week I will post a new goal to achieve. It won't be anything humongous but it will definitely add to weightloss and it has to be easy enough that it can be maintained for life. So starting on Monday my goal will be to have 2litres of water everyday.
Drop me a line and let me know what your goal will be.
Thank you for letting me bear my soul larders. It takes a village.
Have a fab weekend! I'm so excited, I'm going to a wedding this evening. I'll take some pics and load them for your personal viewing.lol
Much love
Larder N
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
Sorry been quiet for so long. There have been some personal demons that I was trying to defeat and I realised that I didn't come on this blog to portray me as a perfect person. I'm completely imperfect! I may be very close to being perfect but there are some kinks here and there:)
A year ago my mother started to get sick, very sick. She was admitted to the hospital and the doctors treated her for symptoms but not for the cause. They ran numerous tests and being the public health care system that a) is very much under-resourced and b) some people just don't care she did not get the answers she needed. Granted, there were some more tests she needed to get done and she defaulted on those. Fast forward to four months later, my mother passed away. Now, my and my mother's relationship has been strained (to put it mildly) since I was a child for various reasons which included verbal, emotional and alcohol abuse. For the most part I was looking after my mother alone. I literally saw her deteriorate in front of me. I would physically carry her to the loo. Needless to say this took a toll on me. Bearing in mind our relationship, when my mother passed I didn't expect it to hit me so hard. It literally felt like I was gutted. And so the past few months have been about me trying to figure it all out. I still can't figure it out. I don't really talk about what I'm feeling and prefer to write about it so here I am writing about it. The sadness is constantly there. The pain sometimes is so much it literally feels like my heart will burst into a thousand pieces and sometimes I feel like God is nowhere to be found. So each day I have to get up and forge ahead and put a smile on my face when all I want to do is scream and run down the streets naked uttering profanity no man has ever thought of.
But each day is a new day, a new opportunity to improve on self. So while I try to improve on myself on the inside with God's help I will also try to improve on my outside appearance. I'm an emotional eater and I have gained even more weight since the passing of my mother! Its time I look after myself. Its time I saw that I matter. For so long I put my needs second to everyone. But I need to look after myself. Someone once said that in order for you to know that you have a purpose you just need to realise that you were not born to exist. There's got to be more to life.
And so my 12 week challenge begins on my physical being. Each week I will post a new goal to achieve. It won't be anything humongous but it will definitely add to weightloss and it has to be easy enough that it can be maintained for life. So starting on Monday my goal will be to have 2litres of water everyday.
Drop me a line and let me know what your goal will be.
Thank you for letting me bear my soul larders. It takes a village.
Have a fab weekend! I'm so excited, I'm going to a wedding this evening. I'll take some pics and load them for your personal viewing.lol
Much love
Larder N
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
